GenX often feels a "rub" in parenting & in their profession or work life.
GenX is the first generation to raise children in a child “centric” way. Previously, children were to be “seen & not heard”.
GenX didn’t have access to social media or the internet, so they were not as educated or aware of differences outside of their environment.
GenX takes pride in their work ethic & are often perplexed by the values & choices of younger generations at work.
The GenX RUB is the holding of what they didn’t get, won’t get, & yet providing better or different for their children or younger generations they intersect with. Parts of them may carry fear, frustration, resentment, & grief.
GenX may be facing the “outcome” of their parenting strategy. Due to hard socioeconomics & the GenX tendency to engage in the “righting reflex” some adult children are taking longer to find their way or may be lost - leading parents to wonder what they did wrong & feel shame. Learned helplessness & opposition are 2 common reactions when parented with the” righting reflex”.
All generations have a chance to relationally heal when they engage in the 3 Rs: Relate first, Regulate second, & Reason last.
Also, the invitation for healing includes owning the story of what has been denied & disowned in favor of the “solemn vow”.
No shame or blame. Instead got curious about family history & explore learning about missed developmental skills. Start with yourself first & invite your family to join you.
Be prepared that their support may be on a continuum & that changes you make today may have a lag effect until you see a changed outcome.
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