INTIMACY = “Into ME” “I see”
For intimacy you would need the following ingredients, steps, or skills:
1. Self-awareness: what’s happening inside/outside
2. Self-reflection: what’s working/not working
3. Self-regulation:
- How to down regulate or up regulate
- Differentiation, Self regulation, & Attachment - Ability to hold onto Self (David Schnarch, author of Intimacy & Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationships)
4. Self-expression: Ability to articulate/verbalize aspects of your internal world, in a calm, clear, energetically clean manner & ideally to be received as such.
INTIMACY WITH OTHERS
- It gets more complicated & challenging when bringing your Self to share with the “other” that matters to you.
- Trust, safety, & respect are prerequisites for intimacy.
- Taking your armor off or laying it down, exposing your heart, & allowing for your Self to be seen requires a safe context & sufficient skill set.
BLOCKS TO INTIMACY
1. Cultural
2. Personal/Relational
“U Turn” & #connectinside
· What are you thinking, feeling, sensing, doing?
· What need, fear, wound, or dream is at stake?
· What “usual suspects” are coming up to protect you? Can you tend & befriend them? Their energy, emotion, & message is a gift.
When intimacy is shaky, get curious about what is driving behavior (yours or theirs).
· Are you resonating with fear?
· Are you resonating with the present moment? Here, here, now, now, what is possible?
· Are you connected to your heart, your truth?
· Are you in a state of contraction or expansion?
· Do you need time/space to “rest & digest” & have you communicated that?
· Are you focusing on growth, co-creation, & empowerment?
SUMMARY
There is a shift happening across generations. Old patterns of living & relating are being questioned, assessed, & when needed or desired, updated. You may not have learned the basic skills, steps, or ingredients of intimacy & you CAN now. To explore this topic further or to grow your relational skills... reach out to #reset!
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