Power is useful, a resource; & can be used for good or to cause hurt or harm.
This episode applies to all relationships in your life. The goal is to be in right relationship with others, each person in their personal power.
If something feels “off” check to see if there is a power struggle, hustle, or leak.
1. Victim, Perpetrator, Rescuer triangle – know what it is & how to get off it.
2. Unconscious Relationships -3 projects
- Trying to force partner to change back.
- Trying to force ourselves to change.
- Give up & close heart.
3. Pure Power/Personal Power (From Tanner Wallace) I have agency, choice & am empowered. It’s not about what happens to you; it’s about how you handle it. I have faith in myself & take aligned action moment to moment.
I’m in my power; you’re in your power, equal but different. I honor me. I honor you. I honor us but not at the cost of me
What’s here for me, for us, & is possible now? Right action, right time, no forcing. Allow it to unfold to completion. Discern what is the wisdom, insights, lessons.
What is it I’m desiring, want to deepen, embody, or lean into?
Mind, body, heart, soul, spirit synched up
4. What is circumstantial power? (From Tanner Wallace)
Looking outside of yourself for your sense of being ok.
Chasing: seeking validation, information, or truth from others.
Hoping: hope alone - with no aligned action, skill set assessment, is a recipe for giving our power away -hoping everyone else will do better or circumstances will change. Delusional fantasy/wishful thinking.
Grabbing: when we don’t trust us or have faith in the process/path to unfold & force something not believing that we are ok or enough, have the necessary skills.
Waiting: decision making by default, deferring to another versus discerning the unfolding/evolution
5. Other forms of disempowerment (from Gene Keys):
Complaining -disempowering oneself, problem oriented. The energy of the complaint itself serves to strengthen the illusion that life is so very hard.
Causes sustained general wear on our physical organism = energy leak. Freedom occurs when we see through our deepest unconscious patterns (fears) to the heart of this energetic.
Acknowledge the trigger,the unconscious root, & address the need for you.
Blaming - We fire an arrow at another that removes self-responsibility for our situation, giving away our true power & presence. All blame is an expression of anger projected outwardly but is not pure. Pure anger is a release of the primal energy of fear that may be triggered by an external source but does not target the source.
The moment one blames another, one is again the victim of one’s own drama (Victim Triangle).
It is impossible to blame another for one’s fate & simultaneously realize that one is simply an actor in a play. Everyone is their own main character; don’t take it in or take it personally that you are a collateral character in someone else’s story. True freedom occurs when the arrows of blame are caught mid-flight before they reach their target.
No personal power in shaming or judging. These are strategies we use when we don’t feel personal power. Personal power requires discernment not judging.
6. Abuse of power
When others power over you to gain the upper hand for them & keep you in a place of inferiority to serve their objective; hurt & harm are caused at an individual & collective level.
· Gaslighting
· Aggression, Dominance, Threat
· Manipulation, Coercive control
#resetwithrenee #naturalstatetherapist #showmestatetherapist #coach #ifs #narm #empowerment #agency #relationshiptips #wholehearted #howtohuman #healingversuscoping #partswork #trailhead
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