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I WILL HELP YOU GET CLARITY, BUILD YOUR GROWTH MINDSET AND OWN YOUR BIG DREAMS
A couple weeks ago we were sitting on the couch, my wife and I trying to pick something on Netflix, or Prime, or Disney…
But there’s just so much to choose from. It’s almost stressful because you can feel your watching time slipping away.
With so many choices we add stress to a relaxing activity.
Instead of choosing one and getting started, we scroll, debate and then it feels like we sort of “give up” and decide.
I love when real life stories like this connect to things I wanna talk about.
I was drifting off in thought about the fact that here we are sitting here.
Scrolling through streaming services looking for something to watch, it reminded me of the classic
Parable Buridan’s Donkey named after the 1300’s philosopher John Buridan.
A donkey is standing between two equally enticing nourishments.
A pile of hay, or a bowl of water.
But, they lack reason and are overwhelmed by the decision.
The donkey, unsure of which to go for, ends up dehydrated and starving to death because they couldn't make up their mind.
The moral is that overthinking can lead to inaction, which is far worse than making either choice, even the “wrong one”.
Paralyzed By Decision
This tale is a simple but powerful metaphor for how overthinking can paralyze us.
I try to remember it when it comes time to choose something.
But it’s not as important as what we can do about it to make decisions more likely.
In our case with the movies let’s say sometimes there are very strong reasons to choose.
For example I really wanna see Jelly Roll’s documentary, when Lewis Capaldi dropped his my wife and I both wanted to check it out and I loved the first Joker movie so when the second one is released I will be naturally motivated to check it out asap.
But where I get caught up in this phenomenon that actually matters (way more than trying to pick a movie) is deciding what to work on.
Just yesterday, I was talking with a creator friend of mine, Amanda Northcutt, founder of Level Up Creators. And she was asking about some of my ideas, wondering why I haven’t acted on them yet. Honestly, I didn’t have a great answer.
Trying to explain our thoughts out loud to others like this can help us realize how silly our excuses, or overthinking really is.
What was holding me back?
While driving home, I started questioning whether I was just making excuses, or if something was getting in the way.
And I realized I had allowed shiny objects to creep back into my workflow because I had way too many choices.
I was working on live video, writing a book, long form blog posts, tweet threads, visual illustrations for social media, short videos, solo podcast episodes and interviews.
Damn, it’s crazy just writing it out like this.
Wild thing is there were like three other business ideas in the works.
Everything felt “equal”.
And so when I would sit down to tackle some work I would waste a lot of time.
Hick’s Law
States that having plenty of choices affect the decision-making time of an individual.
Too little choice and they feel restricted.
But a lot of choice and they actually feel worse.
Until a certain point, offering options is good. It provides freedom to choose. But there comes a point at which the availability of too many options makes it harder for a person to make up their mind. They grow confused, stressed and don’t make a decision at all.
I see this all the time with peopl e I coach as well.
The goal of giving people freedom and joy because they get to choose can actually rob them of feeling happy at all because they’re overwhelmed.
They get trapped in overthinking.
Almost like staring at a computer with a hundred tabs open, or a restaurant menu with every option in the world—it’s overwhelming and chaotic.
Goldilocks Freedom Of Choice
There’s a lot of advice out there about decluttering your home and living more minimally.
And the same principles apply to decluttering your mind.
Simplifying your thoughts and getting started is the key to breaking free from overthinking.
But there is a Goldilocks sweet spot for everyone when it comes to choice.
And it evolves.
Some people need to be told “write a story” some need a genre, a specific prompt, or fill in the blanks.
Either way it’s important to set your priorities, and then the next step is simply to get started, with any of them.
Prioritization
Once you know the most important things to work on, then you can decide to focus on those.
So in my case right now it’s this podcast and the book.
I would love to work on all the other things and in some way, someday I will but for right now it’s the podcast and the book.
That’s step one, pick your priority.
But these are still huge projects.
So, how do I make up my mind about what to work on within those two priorities?
When we don’t have a strong reason to choose, that’s where we get stuck.
We feel like we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t.
But here’s the secret. It can be the opposite.
We can thrive with any of the choices.
As long as we decide.
And this is why randomness can go a long way to declutter our minds.
Randomness
When we’re kids we just randomly choose what we want to do.
But as adults a lot of our rules and feedback lead us to “weigh our options”.
Sometimes this makes sense.
A list of pros, or cons, but then you gotta pull the trigger.
Randomness to make a decision removes some reason and logic, but that’s exactly what we need sometimes.
If two options are compelling we can not use reasoning skills to decide. Sometimes the best solution to a problem is to turn to chance.
For example, my book will have sixty some chapters.
I can’t think too long about which one to work on.
I just need to pick.
Within a chapter I have many ideas, I just need to pick one and write.
The podcast is similar.
I have a document with episode ideas which is over four hundred!
If I question which topic to tackle I run out of time (and motivation) to take on any of them.
So I just need to pick one and go.
Sometimes it’s as easy as flipping a coin.
Actually related to movies (as well as restaurants) this is one of the tactics in our home.
Pull a name from a jar of movies you wanna watch, or restaurants you want to try, and what you get you get.
The moral here is all the same.
Overthinking results in wasted time and missing out.
Simply choosing a direction and taking any action is far more effective.
List out your options, put ‘em all in a jar, shake it up, pull one out and get started.
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I'm so happy you found this podcast. I am here to serve you, the creative solopreneur & aspiring content creator to get clarity on how to create content, teaching, build a business and design the life of your dreams without burning out in the online learning, creator economy.
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