Unstoppable Farce; The Mitch Maloney Story

Mitch takes a BM (Big Meeting) with a streaming concern called Drivvel+ to discuss a new so-called reality series.Endnotes:Maria Bamford, Sure, I'll Join Your Cult: A Memoir of Mental Illness and the Quest to Belong Anywhere (New York, Galery Books, 2023) p.7 Capsule Review: A quirky yet charming look on mental illness. By cults, Bamford is mostly referring to family and 12-step programs, but like Nancherla, below, she’s not afraid of drifting off topic. Not quite the tour-de-force I hoped for, perhaps my expectations were too high. Slack Score: -4; Snark Score: 5 ; Overall FCA ranking: 95Gary Gulman, Misfit; Growing Up Akward in the ’80’s (New York, Flatiron Books, 2023) p.283 Capsule Review: An offbeat but witty peak at depression. The spin here is it’s a (more or less) year-by-year chronicle of Gulman’s public K-12 school years, mostly focussing on one core story or theme for that year and interspersed with almost contemporary interstitial journal entrys to set up or contrast the childhood stuff. Very well written, of course, bordering on overly, which sometimes gets in the way of getting inside the head of an inarticulate pre-teen and definitely makes you question how accurate the anecdotes could be. Slack Score: 9; Snark Score: 12; Overall FCA ranking: 117Aparna Nancherla, Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Impostor Syndrome (New York, Viking, 2023) p.18  Capsule Review: A peculiar but engaging examination of imposter syndrome. Starts off as semi-clinical investigation into the titular syndrome but ends up being a hodge podge of personal essays and confessions, mullings on social media, the trickiness of political correctness and procrastination.  Slack Score:  -6; Snark Score: 5.2 ; Overall FCA ranking: 142

Mitch takes a much needed sabbatical in Sumatra, far from the prying eyes of the paparazzi and the long arm of Interpol, to live among and learn from the beasts of the jungle in his everlasting search for comedic inspiration.Endnotes:Dick Ebersol, From Saturday Night to Sunday Night (New York, Simon & Schuster, 2022) p.98. I only read through the 8H relevant sections, so can’t comment on the whole Ebersol enchilada, but he’s not a comedian by any measure so it’s outside of the scope of this project. Writing is just so-so. He’s clearly just trying to get his side of the story out there, probably takes a bit too much credit or deflects blame when possible Julia Sweeney, If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Your Mother (New York, 20) p. Yes, this is an actual quote. It makes sense in context (sort of). Capsule Review: Fairly charming collection of essays on her life in the Chicago with her husband and adopted Chinese daughter. Still sounds like a pretty boring person though, if you ask me. Slack Score: 7; Snark Score: 3 ; Overall FCA ranking: 231E.M. Cioran, The Trouble with Being Born (New York, 20) p. Capsule Review: I was a little surprised to find this volume in the stacks alongside the other FC autobios at the main branch of the Ottawa library when I was in the research phase of this book, since I had never seen a stand-up special or chat show appearance. He’s somewhere between Sloss and Jesselnik when it comes to nihilism, but funnier than either. He doesn’t get into the whole backstory of his life, but instead basically riffs on the central theme that being born is a “laughable accident.”. Slack Score:  -15; Snark Score: 12.5 ; Overall FCA ranking: 22

Mitch infiltrates the ultimate 8H post-show bash, still searching for his missing mullet, and witnesses almost unimaginable displays of debauchery and tribal violence whilst being pursued by an enraged Nora Dunn.Endnotes:Molly Shannon, Hello Molly!; A Memoir (New York, HarperCollins, 2022) p.207 Capsule Review: Heartbreaking, touching, occasionally funny, moving and inspirational recounting of a life well lived by a purely delightful human. Super down-to-earth frank writing style. Extra heart wrenching in audiobook form. Slack Score: -12 ; Snark Score: 5.2; Overall FCA ranking: 6 Charna Halpern, Del Close, and Kim "Howard" Johnson, Truth in Comedy : the Manual for Improvisation (Meriwether Publishing, Colorado Springs 1994) p.53 Capsule Review: As the title implies, this is a handbook not a memoir, so not subject to FCB ranking, etc. A mish-mash of testimonials from students and acolytes of Del Close, many of them SNL stars, ranting wide-eyed about the magic of improv or whatever.Kevin Nealon, I Exaggerate My Brushes with Fame; Portraits & Stories (New York, Abrams, 2022) p.61 Capsule Review: Not like the others, arguably not an autobiography, although enough of Nealon’s life is woven throughout that I’m willing to accept it (not to mention he’s one of the best stand ups of all time IMO). He presents a series of pretty remarkable, sort of beautiful, painted caricatures of various celebrities, mostly SNL adjacent but not necessarily, with cute, tidy accounts of his titular brushes with celebs, or, in certain cases, how a showbiz legend inspired or delighted him. Slack Score: 14.2; Snark Score: 10; Overall FCA ranking: 98

Mitch comes to in a subterranean torture dungeon and tries to make sense of the last chapter, but can he escape and get to the afterparty in time to be reunited with his trusty hairpiece Dennis?Endnotes:Amy Poehler, Yes, Please (New York, HarperCollins, 2014) p.23 Capsule Review: Despite sharp and breezy writing, not a lot of laughs, lengthy complaining about the difficulty of writing the book (I get it). Cute stories about developing friendships with Meyers and Fey. Mildly inspirational. Most intriguing section for me was Chicago improv roots outside of Second City and formation of Upright Citizens Brigade. Slack Score: 11 ; Snark Score: 2.6; Overall FCA ranking: 130 David Spade (New York, HarperCollins, 2015) p.118 Capsule Review: As expected, text is formulaic Spade-speak throughout, tales of medium creepiness with women are in (over) abundance, but useful, extensive accounting of SNL hiring and production practices in the mid to late ‘90s. Slack Score: 12.8 ; Snark Score: 14.2 ; Overall FCA ranking: 459 Martin Short, I Must Say; My Life as a Humble Comedy Legend (New York, HarperCollins, 2014) p.124 Capsule Review: Mostly breezy, occasionally wrenching (last chapter on wife Nancy’s death is the most intense example) Specific interludes that explicate the origin and evolutions of various characters he’s created are particularly insightful and one of the most fleshed-out accounts of the Toronto production of Godspell aka the Big Bang of Canadian sketch outside of the full oral history in the Washington Post ( https://www.washingtonpost.com/arts-entertainment/2022/05/19/godspell-toronto-martin-short-levy-radner-shaffer-garber/ ). Slack Score: 7 ; Snark Score: 12; Overall FCA ranking: 44

Mitch reveals the spooky backstage shenanigans at 30 Rockefeller Center and how he helped solve the mystery of the Headless Thompson.Endnotes:Colin Jost, A Very Punchable Face (New York, Penguin/Random House, 2020) p. 231. Capsule Review: Breezy, glass-half full take from guy aware of his advantages, growing up in Staten Island, touching 9/11 mom story and more Harvard Lampoon insight than other FC memoirs. Slack Score: 14.7; Snark Score: 6; Overall FCA rating: 159Tina Fey, Bossypants (New York, Hachette, 2012) p. 145. Capsule Review: Well written, somewhat uneven mix of heartwarming anecdotes, comedic happenstances and career musings. Slack Score: 9.72; Snark Score: 8; Overall FCA ranking: 54 Bob Odenkirk, Comedy Comedy Comedy Drama (New York, Randomhouse, 2022) p. 58. Capsule Review: funny and insightful  tour of multiple points of interest for me, topped by Mr. Show, unconventional, less reverential perspective on Lorne and SNL, fascinating anecdotes on early work with Farley and Conan in Chicago. Slack Score: 12.6; Snark Score 4.5; Overall FCA ranking: 112 A Very Punchable Face, p. 290-301Chris Kattan, Baby, Don't Hurt Me: Stories and Scars from Saturday Night Live (New York, 20) p. 14. Capsule Review: Defensive and whiny, downplays rift with Norm, cringed stories about “dating” 21 y/o Zooey Deschanel, and molesting Charlize Theron and Katie Holmes on live TV. Surprised to learn he was from my neck of the woods (Bainbridge). Slack Score: 11; Snark Score: -2.7; Overall FCA ranking: 443 Jim Bruer, I'm Not High: But I've Got a Lot of Crazy Stories about Life as a Goat Boy, a Dad, and a Spiritual Warrior (New York) p.84. Capsule Review: par for the course SNL memoir. Lots of complaining about how his “talent” was restrained by the producers and lots of grandstanding about the importance of family, etc. Slack Score: 13; Snark Score: 0; Overall FCA ranking: 642Rachel Dratch, Girl Walks Into a Bar...: Comedy Calamities, Dating Disasters, and a Midlife Miracle (New York, Gotham Books, 2012) pp45-47. Capsule Review: Kind of a bummer, in keeping with the Debbie Downer character, a lot about her love life, which didn’t really start until after SNL, and many disappointments and challenges there, as well as the fizzling out of her career, chronic typecasting, and drift into spiritualism. Slack Score: 6 ; Snark Score: -3.4; Overall FCA ranking: 289Darrell Hammond, God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m F*cked (New York, Harper, 2011) p.14, Capsule Review: Exceptionally dysfunctional and depressing, even by FC standards, account of childhood abuse and learning to cope by doing funny voices, including recovered memories (dubious, to my mind) self-cutting and secret alcoholism during SNL tenure. Slack Score: -13.6; Snark Score: -7 ; Overall FCA ranking: 379 Jay Mohr, Gasping For Airtime: Two Years In The Trenches Of Saturday Night Live (New York, 20) p.237 Capsule Review: Hack comic writes hack book. Unbelievable entitlement and complaining. Openly admits to completely ripping off Rick Shapiro, lying to Lorne about it, and then is surprised when his contract isn’t renewed. Slack Score: 15; Snark Score: -9; Overall FCA ranking: 633 Tom Shales & James Andrew Miller, Live from New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live (New York, Little, Brown and Company, 2014) p. 531. Most definitive oral history of SNL, with extensive interviews of every significant contributor excepting Eddie Murphy and the deceased. Not technically an FCA, so no rankings given.Ibid, 541

Mitch takes questions from the Seattle media right before his legendary performance on the roof of the Space Needle.Endnotes:Ali Wong, Dear Girls; Intimate Tales, Untold Secrets & Advice for Living Your Best Life (New York, Random House, 2019), p.* Capsule Review: framed as letters of advice to Wong’s daughters, but otherwise disconnected and rambling, with predictable pop-cultural analogizing and confessional pre-sex grooming ritual semi-jokes often repurposed from her specials. Another example of a comedian eventually rising to some degree of fame and success less from funny demeanour or clever joke writing than by relentless careerism. Likely more relevant for readers that are women, Asian, interested in reproduction and bodily fluids and/or functions related to reproduction. Most useful to me for a helpful guide to choosing Asian restaurants to dine at. Slack Score: 3.8; Snark Score: 6; Overall FCA ranking: 581.Woody Allen, Apropos of Nothing; Autobiography (New York, Arcade Publishing, 2020) pp220-382. Capsule Review: The first third (approximately) details his rapid rise in stand up as a contemporary of Cosby and Rivers (both of whom had the same agent and played the same clubs in Greenwich Village in the ‘60s), writing for Candid Camera, Smothers Brothers, etc.; 2nd part whizzes through movies, mostly describes how lazy, unmotivated, and undeserving of praise he really is/was; 3rd part is primarily an explanation/defence of unsavoury accusations regarding Dylan Farrow & Soon-Yi Previn. Slack Score: 9.72; Snark Score: 8; Overall FCA ranking: 89Dadourian, Eric, live performance at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, Los Angeles, 2/04/2016, archived at Put Your Hands Together (Earwolf Podcast Network; rebroadcast 12/27/18) more polished version of this routine, “Lunch & Death,” appears on Nebraska 2 (Aspecialthing Records, audio cassette, 2020)

Mitch reflects on his early comedic influences while high on white skunk juice at the bottom of a disposable waste facility in the Alabama woods and explains how, with the help of his chauffeur, he escaped from a pack of cannibalistic mutants in his up-armored tourbus.Endnotes:Patton Oswald, Zombie, Spaceship, Wasteland:(New York, Simon and Schuster, 2011) p.102. Capsule Summary: Some chapters are straight autobiography, interspersed with cultural observations consistent with his proto-geek persona: Dungeons & Dragons, sci-fi B pictures, REM, etc. Some interesting insights, the titular essay also referenced in this transmission might be most beguiling. Pleasant read. If anything, as with his stand up, language might be a notch too clever for it’s own good. Slack Score: 12; Snark Score 8.3; Overall FCA ranking: 338Whoopi Goldberg, Book (William Morrow and Company, 1997) p.127. Capsule Summary: More a series  of mildly amusing essays, some more ranty than others, than autobiography. Her beliefs on subjects such as religion and politics are elucidated, as are her sexual proclivities and defecatory practices. Slack Score: 2.7; Snark Score 5; Overall FCA ranking: 197Mort Sahl, Heartland (New York/London, Harcourt, Brace, Jovonovich, 1976) p.145. Capsule Summary: Predictably great writing from the progenitor of Stewart and Colbert, though (also predictably) riddled with anachronisms. Profundity, usually regarding Sahl’s faith in the American people, is undercut by finger-pointing, score-settling, gossip-peddling, and a devolution into conspiracy chaser. Slack Score: 0; Snark Score: 12.7; Overall FCA ranking: 20

Mitch describes some behind-the-scenes challenges he ran into while touring the American south with Hannah Gadsby.Endnotes:Todd Barry, Thank You for Coming to Hattiesburg: One Comedian's Tour of Not-Quite-the-Biggest Cities in the World (New York, Gallery Books, 2017) p.70. Capsule Review: the title pretty much covers it. Specific anecdotes about life on the road in 55 cities, mostly smaller-sized, mostly American. Tone is typical Barry knowingly false bravado complaining about minutiae such as limited coffee options in rural outposts and shabby green room decor. Slack Score: 12.6; Snark Score 4.5; Overall FCA ranking: 303Hannah Gadsby, Ten Steps to Nanette; A Memoir Situation (New York, Penguin/Random House, 2022) p. 214. Capsule Review: Exhaustive personal history of life in homophobic Tasmania in the ‘80s and ‘90s as an  impoverished, undiagnosed, autistic lesbian. Often excruciating, occasionally humorous, extremely thorough, touching on seemingly every aspect of her formative years. Slack Score: -14.2; Snark Score: 6; Overall FCA ranking: 16James Acaster, James Acaster’s Classic Scrapes (London, Headline Publishing Group, 2017)  p. 301. Capsule Review: A series of challenging or embarrassing scenarios (“scrapes”) that Acaster has found himself in, in more or less chronological order, that are mildly amusing though solidly crafted. Has a skydiving anecdote similar to my own.  Slack score: 9.3; Snark Score: 13.7; Overall FC ranking: 139

Mitch goes to Edinburgh, and then London with his new one-man show, an attempt to reckon with the political fallout surrounding his alter ego, Wade Dinklington, and helps crack the case of the most infamous crime spree in history along the way.Endnotes:Stewart Lee, How I Escaped My Certain Fate; The Life and Deaths of a Stand-Ip Comedian, (London, Bloomsbury House, 2011) p.223, Capsule Review: Interesting, well-written history of the British Alternative Comedy Scene and Lee’s place in it. Autobiographical passages are interspersed with full transcripts of stand-up performances, which, while largely autobiographical themselves, still feels like cheating. Slack Score: 4; Snark Score: 12.3 Overall FCA ranking #30Romesh Ranganathan, Straight Outta Crawley; Memoirs of a Distinctly Average Human Being (London, Penguin/Random House, 2018), p149. Capsule Review:  Very heavy on British slang makes for somewhat challenging reading. Semi-interesting story about how Romesh went from school-teacher to semi-famous stand-up. Lots and lots of hip hop references and adulation. Slack Score: 9 ; Snark Score: 3.6; Overall FCA ranking #290Johny Vegas, Becoming Johnny Vegas (London, HarperCollins, 2011) p 67. Capsule Review: interesting read about (real name) Michael Pennington's life;  formative years, sojourn in a seminary as a child, and studying ceramics before moving to stand-up. Creation of JV character has interesting parallels with Wade Dinklington, an out-of-control alter-ego that’s hard to define or reign in. Slack Score: 8.5; Snark Score: 4.4 Overall FCA ranking #87

For the very first time, Mitch discusses what went down on the set of his HBO sitcom that was cancelled halfway through the first day of shooting.Endnotes:Chris Elliott, Bob Elliott, Daddy’s Boy; A Son’s Shocking Account of  Life with a Famous Father, (New York, Delacorte Press, 1989)  Capsule Review:  Chris describes his privileged upbringing in New York and the pressures of living under the shadow of a massively successful, but controlling and occasionally cruel patriarch. His father, Bob is provided chapter-by-chapter rebuttals for legal reasons. Heartbreaking, scandalous. Slack Score: 6.7; Snark Score: 14.6 Overall FCA ranking #83Chris Elliott, Into Hot Air; Mounting Mount Everest, (New York, Weinstein Books, 2008)  Capsule Review:  Chris discovers the diary of his Great Uncle Percy Brackett Elliott, that suggests that he was the first person to reach the peak of Mt. Everest. Chris attempts to solve the mystery with a group of his celebrity friends. Solid adventure read, though not as autobiographical as his other works. Slack Score: 2.7; Snark Score: 9; Overall FCA ranking #83Chris Elliott, The Guy Under the Sheets: The Unauthorized Autobiography  (New York, Plume, 2012)  Capsule Review:  Chris describes his rise to greatness in the business and the outlandish misadventures he experienced at the height of success. Slack Score: 12.8; Snark Score: 12.4 Overall FCA ranking #26

After Mitch is attacked while hosting an alt-comedy open-mic night at his newly acquired sanctuary in Lipstick City, the Velveteria, he  begins practicing the new martial art of Comido Defendu under the tutelage of Sensei Judah Friedlander.Endnotes:Whitney Cummings, I’m Fine… and Other Lies, (New York, Penguin Randomhouse, 2017), p. 55. Capsule Review:  More self-help journey than showbiz bio, very little about her career, more about struggles with body image, anorexia, breast implants, migraines, costochondritis, exploding-head syndrome (audio hallucinations), therapy, and adopting pit bulls, specifically Billy, who almost bit her ear off. Good example of the therapy-by-proxy FCA sub genre.  Slack Score: -6; Snark Score: 3.3 Overall FCA ranking #206Judah Friedlander, How to Beat up Anybody; An Instructional and Inspirational Karate Book by the World Champion, (New York, Harper Collins, 2010) p. 113. Capsule Review: Ostensible martial arts manual with highly questionable claims involving levitation, "sizing," fighting Bigfoot, etc. Notable that the author went from being the "World Champion" of Karate to being one of many secondary teachers of Comidu Defendu in the San Fernando Valley. Slack Score: 11.5; Snark Score 14.2; Overall FCA ranking #221Sebastian Maniscalco, Stay Hungry, (New York, Gallery Books/Simon & Schuster, 2018) p.289 Capsule Summary: Paint-by-numbers FCA with relatively low-trauma origin element; upper-middle-class to marrying rich to getting more rich by telling uninteresting family stories in an over-the-top energized manner. Slack Score: 13; Snark Score: -4; Overall FCA ranking #312.

Mitch moves to LA and goes on a publicity tour under the direction of his new agent, Gabby Gersh.Endnotes:Sandra Bernhard, Confessions of a Pretty Lady, (New York, Harper and Row, 1988), p. 118. Capsule Review:  Lyrical, spare  and confessional. Prioritizes the mundane, personal moments and epiphanies over show business gossip. Slack Score: 12; Snark Score: 9 Overall FCA ranking #4Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously… I’m Kidding, (New York, Hachete Book Group, 2011), p. 240. Capsule Review: Often hilarious. More a collection of off-kilter and inspirational musings than a traditional autobiography, Slack Score: 4.4; Snark Score 13.2; Overall FCA ranking #126Grock (Chris Wettach), Grock; King of Clowns, (London, Methuen and Co.,  1956), p.42. Capsule Summary: Absolutely riveting account  of incredibly accomplished success story largely forgotten by history, though rarely funny and occasionally tasteless/outmoded views of ethnicity and culture. Slack Score: -6; Snark Score: 2; Overall FCA ranking #11

Mitch describes how he scaled the cliffs of Fame Mountain,  got into a bathroom brawl with Neil Hamburger and partied with Tig Notaro and  Brian Posehn.Endnotes:1) Tig Notaro, I’m Just a Person, (New York, HarperCollins, 2016), p.46. Capsule Review: frank, confessional style but with quirky/unique worldview, unique life experience, lots about unconventional mom, distant dad; suggests that the closer you push up against death the more truly alive, self-actualized, a person can become. Slack Score: +12; Snark Score: +6; Overall FCA ranking #122) Norm Macdonald, Based On a True Story, a Memoir, (Toronto, HarperCollins, 2016), p. 33. Capsule Review:   Funny, of course. Well-paced, although I am suspicious that some of the anecdotes might have been exaggerated or even fabricated. Slack Score: +4.7; Snark Score: +15; Overall FCA ranking #93) Eddie Izzard, Believe Me; A Memoir of Love, Death, and Jazz Chickens, (New York, Penguin Random House, 2017), p. 263. Capsule Review: Overly-detailed accounts of early childhood. Pretentious and unnecessary use of footnotes. However, the concept of the magical hippo that always returns in indispensable and writing is insightful and eloquent throughout. Izzard might be the most broadly accomplished FC of all time considering multiple-language performances, airplane piloting and extreme serial marathoner Slack Score: -3.3; Snark Score: +9;  Overall FCA ranking #18

Maloney discusses how his fledgling comedy career was in limbo during a global health crisis and the surprising way a convoy of truckers inspired him to embrace his destiny.Endnotes:1) Joan Rivers with Richard Merryman, Enter Talking, (New York, Delacorte Press, 1986), p.241. Capsule Review:  Interesting, occasionally inspirational story of her early career struggling to convince her upper-class family and the public that she was funny. Insightful portrayal of the gay cabaret scene in New York in the 1960’s. The best of Rivers’ seven memoirs. Slack Score: -5. Snark Score: -7. Overall FCA ranking #15  2) Gilbert Gottfried, Rubber Balls and Liquor, (New York, St. Martin’s Press, 2011), p.45. Capsule Review:  Great show business anecdotes involving Woody Allen, Harrison Ford, etc. Clever meta-commentary throughout. More laughs per page than most other FCAs, although many are Borscht Belt standards. Slack Score: 5. Snark Score: 12.5. Overall FCA ranking #333) Tracy Morgan with Anthony Bozza, I am the New Black, (New York, Random House, 2009), from the Introduction p.XV. Capsule Review: Heartfelt, moving account of overcoming tragedy with Morgan’s signature performative bravado  Slack Score: 8.2. Snark Score: -6. Overall FCA ranking #19

Mitch describes his childhood and early comedic influences.Endnotes:Steve Martin, Born Standing Up: A Comic’s Life, (New York, Simon & Schuster, 2007), pp 27-29. Capsule Review: Exquisitely structured narrative, beautifully written. Slack score: 7.3. Snark score: 9.5. Overall FCA ranking: #2 Sanford and Son, Season One, episode 8, “The Great Sanford Siege,” originally aired Mar 3, 1972. Teleplay by Aaron Rubin. Directed by Peter Baldwin, scene featuring Redd Foxx and Demond WilsonGeorge Carlin with Tony Hendra, Last Words: A Memoir, (New York, Simon & Schuster, 2009), p.283. Capsule review: Medium-interesting career trajectory. Well-written, but overly long. Too many childhood anecdotes. Slack score: 6.2. Snark score: -10. Overall FCA ranking: 47

Endnotes: This foreword, by Louis C.K. was not written for this book, Unstoppable Farce. It was originally intended for inclusion in Nothing Left to Lose, my first autobiography written in 2028, but was dropped by the publisher for unspecified reasons and was replaced by a less-than-enthusiastic but quirky and charming essay by Sarah Silverman that included actual paid advertisements for Masterclass and Zip Recruiter, considered an innovation in the publishing world at the time. The writing and reception of Nothing Left to Lose is addressed in Chapter 27, while my professional and personal relationship with Louis C.K. is discussed in Chapters 17-20.These statistics, and others that appear throughout Unstoppable Farce, were culled from archived meta-editions of Duntzopedia.The principles of the Universal Timewave, Hasslein’s Curve, the formation of the Chortle Portal, and how these recordings are being transmitted through time-space,, etc. will be discussed in the final chapter of this book, though to be honest I’m not sure if I truly understand them myself and therefore am unable to properly explain them. At some point you’ve got to trust the scientists, and that point is apparently when you’re on the precipice of intergalactic obliteration, so I’ll just have to cross my synthetic graphene fingers and hope Professor Hasslein know what he’s talking about.