Simple on Purpose | Intentional Living and Parenting

How are we told we SHOULD feel in motherhood, versus how do we truly feel in motherhood? We spend a lot of time and energy living in default emotions, while hustling to shift away from uncomfortable emotions and into more comfortable emotions. I want to open up your options for empowering emotions that you can feel in motherhood, emotions that generate capacity instead of exhaustion. And I want to have the conversation about HOW we are meeting our emotional needs in effective or ineffective ways.  Covered in this episode: Our emotional experience matters What memories are you making in motherhood (and how it can change your motherhood experience) day after day of feeling overwhelmed in our bodies Is Self-Care the Answer When Motherhood Sucks? Our emotions need to be addressed when we address how we feel and what we do with those feelings, we gain power and opportunities Do we have basic emotional needs?  What we are TOLD we will feel in motherhood (what we go into motherhood expecting to feel) versus what we actually feel in motherhood  114. Being a Mom, on Purpose (it’s not about happy, obedient kids) Should ‘Happy Kids’ Be Our Parenting Goal? 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions What most moms say they want to feel in motherhood 66. Are you stuck in the hustle for happiness? Finding contentment in momlife 69. Will a simpler home bring me peace? What getting dressed each day taught me about meeting my emotional needs The Baby That Always Cried (Our Story With Esophagitis) Mothering Through Anxiety God’s Grace Through Difficult Parenting the moms30for30 posts  When I Instagrammed My Own Life, and Not My Kids Chasing happiness and peace vs other emotions we could be pursuing in our day Emotional needs of motherhood Questions to ask yourself: How are you meeting that emotional need? In an effective way or an ineffective way? Where are you in terms of meeting this need (shut off the need and avoid needing it, or overcompensate and need a lot of it?) Some emotional needs you might not be aware you have: Connection  Productivity When I realized I wasn’t a lazy mom, I was just overwhelmed 129. Does your ‘to-do list’ overwhelm you? Expectation overwhelm and how to handle it. Productivity Needs A Purpose 149. How to find what matters to you (uncovering your personal values) 170. Planning the Day (reactive vs proactive, tools and approaches I use) Appreciation/Validation Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr) 62. My husband put the groceries away wrong, he doesn’t care about me (love languages and expectations in marriage) Confidence Being confident in the mom you are 115. A Controlling mom, or a capable mom? Enjoyment/joy do you withhold joy from yourself? 138. Is momlife UNFUN? How to be a more FUN MOM, stop withholding fun from yourself When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) Finding Joy In Your Every Day (#theperfectmomentsproject) Accomplishment Nurturing Contentment, happiness, joy Pride Security Relaxed Belonging Self-expression, creativity Autonomy  Adventurous Motivated, energized Things to consider  all our actions are us trying to meet our needs the best we know how, and we are all trying to feel more of what we WANT to feel and less of what we DON'T want to feel  Our thoughts, feelings and actions are all interrelated Our use of our emotional energy matters Towards and Away Motivation  Staying connected over the summer Catch up on the Spotify Playlists The Facebook group, reopened if you were wanting to join it Follow along Instagram Join the Simple Saturdays email, the virtual coffee date with your Nerdy Girlfriend     Full transcript (unedited) 0:00

I have gone from be an avid gym-avoider, unathletic, didn't even own a pair of running shoes, complacent with my health in many ways to someone who PRIORITIZES movement as a way to improve and maintain my sense of wellbeing.  I want to share how I got here, what makes exercise tough and simple ways to get started with moving more.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. Topics covered in this episode What I learned about exercise as a kid. 1:54 The ideal body has shifted over generations. The modern human moves around 30% less than the 1960s. Learning from the culture around us. 3:50 Learning from culture and home culture. Limiting identities and how they shape us. What Is physical literacy? 6:12 Lack of physical literacy, lack of motivation, knowledge and understanding. The importance of movement. The wake-up call I had Getting started with yoga It’s not about the goal but about the process. 11:05 Challenging the lifelong belief of complacency. The benefits of exercise. How exercise changes the brain’s anatomy. 13:42 Exercise changes the brain's anatomy, physiology and function. Exercise reduces stress and cortisol. How exercise can help with depression? 15:07 Exercise can provide temporary anxiety relief. The benefits of prolonged exercise for over 20 minutes. Exercise can be a form of meditation. What will keep you from experiencing the benefits of exercise Perfectionism, all or nothing, using exercise as a distraction How exercise helps you care for yourself better Increasing capacity and showing up better. 19:19 Why exercise is hard Our relationship to our bodies The resistance and excuses our brain gives us when we are faced with potential pain (hard work) Building a dopamine pathway for exercise  Strategies for incorporating movement into your life. 21:40 Consistency is key to long-term motivation. Consider yourself 20 years from now Exercise, with a toddler at home   Links related to the episode  References   Books Move by Caroline Williams The Joy of Movement by Kelly McGonigal Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski Move the Body, Heal the Mind by Dr. Heisz Episodes, articles and studies The brain-changing benefits of exercise by Wendi Suzuki Move the body, heal the mind on the Art of Manliness podcast, with Dr. Jennifer Heisz of NeuroFitLab Physical literacy The secret to why exercise is so good for mental health. 'Hope Molecules'  The truth behind 'runners high' Blog posts/my stories My VBAC Birth Story I’ve Been Living On Auto-Pilot and I’m Changing My Ways (aka Why Running Makes Me Cry) I’m Running My First 5k. Here’s Why Umm…I Thought You Were Running a 5km? 164. How I am finding balance in my life this year Building self trust  Athletic skillz, according to 12 year old me What We Say About Ourselves (and why it matters) Limiting Identity 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) 150. A new approach to habit change: routine and habit refinement I would love to hear from you on Instagram, find me @simpleonpurpose.ca Or reply to me anytime through the Simple Saturdays email (if you want to join that fun, twice-a-month email, sign up here!)     FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:07 Hey friends it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca Welcome back to the simple on purpose podcast. And if you're new here, welcome to just give you like a quick nutshell about simple and purpose. I am Shawna, I'm a mom of three kids, I'm a counselor. And over the years, I have shared my journey online at simple on purpose.ca. With simplifying my home, decluttering my home,

I am a decades-long nightowl, but it doesn't always serve me well in motherhood. Some years ago I made 'sleep' my health goal (not becoming a morning person, but simply heading to bed earlier). I want to share the benefits of sleep and strategies that can help you give up that nightowl life.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. In this episode I talk about: How sleep was handled in our upbringing How technology impacts our experience of motherhood The cultural expectations for sleep and self-care as it pertains to moms How moms are trying to get self-care, in ways that it impacts their sleep The benefits of sleep Being a nightowl, the benefits and the costs Strategies to set a sleep goal Addressing the things that keep us up Strategies to make sleep easier Building up self-trust with yourself The need for rest Having more rest in your day and week   All the related links: Grave's disease (My Thyroid, My Frenemy {Grave’s Disease to Hypothyroid} Reading books instead of social media (4 simple habits that make my momlife better) Studies and information on the benefits of sleep: the Sleep Foundation Memory consolidation (Healthy Sleep, Harvard) The role of sleep in emotional processing Intentional phone habits episodes + worksheets Feeling addicted to your phone Setting intentional phone habits Brain dump (blog post) Magnesium drink powder to help you relax, and this one to help you sleep Ashwaganda Blue light blockers (the ones I use here) Enable red tint on your phone (instructions here) Greyscale your phone (instructions here) Study on blue lights and circadian rhythms Huberman Lab Toolkit for Sleep  Exercising for better sleep (John Hopkins Medicine) Building self-trust with yourself (podcast episode) Getting a day of rest, as a mom (podcast episode) Church and chill day (family rhythms)   Full transcript (unedited) 0:08 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca.  And I'm excited for what we're going to talk about today we're going to talk about the topic of rest. We're continuing on with the series on meeting your needs. In the last episode, we talked about nourishment. And I told you, I was going to continue on sharing these basic needs, we have these basic actions of self care. And I don't want to tell you what to do. But I want to share my journey with it. And with each topic, I want to address the culture that impacts how we relate to this basic need, and how I've changed my own mindsets about it over the years. Additionally, the strategies that have helped me with this basic need that have helped me to take better care of myself. Today we're going to talk about sleep and I want to share with you how I went from what I see myself as a night owl. A morning tragedy. tragedy is a good word for it. And someone who never really intentionally rested in a week. And I think I've really become someone now who loves an early night. I love a good tuck in. I'm not a morning tragedy, maybe I've downgraded but maybe a morning bumbler would be a better, I'm still not awesome in the mornings. And I think I am someone who prioritizes rest in the week. And you maybe can feel that I'm painting a picture of how I used to be this night owl. I have been a night owl since I can remember. I was a teenager with insomnia. That's how I would have labeled myself. I just adopted that mold of being a night owl. And that reputation of just being a miserable human being upon the waking hours. If you ask my little sister, she'll tell you, the many glares and snares that her otherwise happy sister would dish out to the whole family at seven in the morning like these innocent bystanders. 1:59 Just getting my wrath, my morning wrath. And as a teenager,

If you feel stressed out and overwhelmed, consider how you meet your basic needs - especially how you feed yourself well and often. In this episode, I share my journey to ensure I am nourishing myself, as a busy mom. Including 11 different strategies that I find help to make sure I am meeting this basic need.      Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode The culture we grow up in shapes how we feed ourselves The modern cultural expectations for moms and food  Hyperfixation on health Going gluten and dairy free, the whole30, heartburn How staying nourished helps us maintain our window of tolerance  11 strategies that have helped me ensure I feed myself well and often    All the fun links you might enjoy  The baby who always cried (our story with esophagitis) Mindful eating for moms (Interview with Jessica Penner) Teaching our kids a healthy relationship with food (+ our own food guilt and body shame) with Andrea Heyman Understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood What I ate during the whole30 11 things I learned from doing the whole30 diet challenge A simple hack to make meal planning easy Four simple habits that make my momlife easier (vegetables for breakfast) Paying attention to how you feel (body and emotional awareness) – (the mind-body connection) The almond mom (GMA article)   Sign up for the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month) Find me on Instagram FULL TRANSCRIPT  0:10  Welcome to another episode of The Simple on purpose Podcast. I'm so happy you're here. At simple on purpose, my aim is to help you simplify your home, your heart and your life so that you can show up for your life on purpose. And today we're going to be talking about a topic in the meeting your needs series, we're actually going to talk about the topic that started the whole series. Because what happened was, I shared a story on Instagram about eating lunch, and how much we need to make sure that we as moms are eating real food, too. And there was a conversation on Instagram that came from that, and it made me realize there's so much more I want to say. So I laugh at myself, because I was going to do one simple episode on lunch. One simple podcast episode on lunch, and it turned into this series about meeting your needs, which really, it just might be a factor of the overwhelm, I feel when I come to do the podcast because I take it too far. I can't do that, you know, seven minute quick episode, I feel like there's just way too much to consider. I just want to talk about all the things. So we've talked about in this series, meeting our needs, what we've learned to believe around meeting our needs. Working through the process of becoming aware, validating, and handling our approach to meeting our needs. We've talked about self care and self love, and looking at what our moms have taught us and what mums of other generations have experienced. And I let you know that as we were moving forward, I will be sharing my own stories with some of the basic needs that I have learned to meet in myself. So I'm going to be sharing one of those stories today. And it's not to tell you how you should do it. This isn't about telling you how and what to eat. But this can just be a story where there's framework around how we can meet our needs and different approaches, and some ideas on how you might want to do that if this is a need, that you are focusing on in your own life. So today we're talking about feeding ourselves, or as I like to call it nourishing ourselves. And for me, food was a big crash course in realizing that I had physical needs I had to pay attention to there's been a process as I've gone through the decades of motherhood, where I just realized how detached I have been from my body.

From becoming aware, to validation, to giving ourselves permission to disrupt the system - we have some steps that can help us in our process of Becoming Someone Who Takes Care of Themselves. I want to share with you how decluttering led me to assess how I was taking care of myself, and how I worked from my basic needs, in small steps to more personal needs.  Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and take action I may be compensated at no additional cost to you. In this episode I talk more about: Our basic needs The wheel of self care Self-care of ourselves vs caring for others The cultural rules of self-care for moms Owning our own narrative of motherhood  The process of becoming someone who takes care of themselves: awareness, validation, permission, approach All or nothing thinking   Links you might like  174. Christmas hygge ideas + understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood First episode in the series 179. What are your needs and how are you meeting them? Second episode in the series 180. Self-care and self-love, what would our mothers say? The Joy of Less by Francine Jay  Small things matter 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) When Motherhood Can Change You but You Can’t Change Motherhood When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate Self care assessment  Enneagram Enneagram 101 (what is it and what are the nine types) 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you? 113. Why you aren’t thriving in motherhood (stress and surviving) Sign up for Simple Saturdays Email  Talk to me on Instagram    The Wheel of Self Care, by Olga Phoenix   Full Transcript (unedited) 0:09 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simpleonpurpose.ca. Welcome the simple on purpose podcast, we are continuing our series about meeting our needs in today I want to talk about becoming someone who takes care of themselves. In the last episode, I talked about how we can shift our approach to the things we call self love and self care. And when we are proactive with self care, then we can become better at creating and maintaining capacity, capacity for our lives and capacity matters. Capacity, having capacity, it helps us feel like we're just able to handle our day. If you've heard talk about the window of tolerance, I think that's a good example of capacity. When we are in our window of tolerance, we feel like we have capacity, I'll make sure to link an episode on that where I've talked about that in the past. So when we are not meeting our needs, we have lowered capacity. Or maybe another way to say this is that meeting our needs increases our capacity. In the very first episode of this series, we talked about our relationship to our needs and how we learn from our upbringing, what's acceptable, what's not, what's a burden, who meets our needs, how do we express them, whose needs Should we meet whose needs are more important, and so on. And then we also are living in this world where we hear a lot about self care and self love. But we've also have some handed down notions from our own mothers and the mothers in our lives. I shared my own story around that in the last episode. And so we're all entering into this conversation with a bit of a different framework on what's comfortable, what's right, what's acceptable when it comes to our needs as a women and moms. I have been asking around what do you consider your basic needs basic needs. And I see a general consensus that our basic needs are what we need to survive, food, sleep, shelter, water. And I'm going to be honest, I know some of us are not very good at three out of four. And I will tell you my very basic list, when I entered into this mindset of becoming someone who takes care of themselves, it did start with food, sleep, water and, and physical space,

Sometimes we can find ourselves reaching for a bowl of chocolate, scrolling through social media, or checking out for the night, and call that self-care. But that is really self-comfort and only serves to numb the discomfort instead of fixing it. Self-care is tuning into ourselves and finding out what we need to do to care for ourselves. Listen in as I discuss self-care and self-love, and how that has changed over the years since our mothers were young.     Main topics: The difference between self-care and self-comfort Meeting our needs and our capacity (window of tolerance) Accepting cheap substitutes to meet our needs What we think it means when our needs are going unmet The culture of moms meeting their needs, is it intuitive?  What we learn from our mothers about self-care and self-love Why the term self-love feels challenging.    Related links: Self-care assessment  Is self care the answer when motherhood sucks? (blog post) Understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood (episode) How to find confidence in being the mom you are (episode) Being a mom on purpose  (it is not about happy, obedient kids) (episode) 67. Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr) The highlight reel of moms talking about self-care and meeting their needs    Simple Saturdays email (sign up here) Instagram (message me on IG)   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) We're gonna continue on with our series about meeting your needs. And I want to talk more about self care and self love and how this is about it. But it's also not about it. The whole series, meeting your needs, I don't think that is one that I would listen to if I saw that title sounds kind of weird to say, but I think many mums might feel this way you see something on meeting your needs, and you might think, I don't need that things are fine. Or there might be some resistance, because you're kind of worried is this another pitch for that self care, self love, do face masks in the bath, treat yourself, you deserve it love yourself, you're amazing. We are a little bit worried about where this is going to take us. Because I think some of us know that. That self care, self love cannot be an entire approach to living. There's parts that are so helpful, for sure. But the approach needs more to it, it kind of feels like thin ice over water. But we need that iceberg. Underneath we need that iceberg of values and beliefs. We need awareness, validation, radical acceptance before we move into self care and self love. So as I move forward with this topic of meeting your needs, I want to approach this topic from the work I've done with moms of all ages and stages all over the world. And that's the approach of addressing the overwhelm the stress, the expectations, the mental load that moms are under. Because this overwhelm it feels like a threat to us on a base level. And when we add in a reduced capacity to deal with that threat, you have yourself a chronic stress response. And that's what we're commonly operating from. That's why we need self care and self love. But at the at the core of it capacity is what's important. Capacity is one I want to talk about. For someone to feel capacity, they feel like they can do they feel capable, they have met their basic needs, so that they can move forward with dealing with things and feeling capable. Think of how capacity impacts you in your daily life. Think of how you show up in motherhood, when you have slept well, or have had a nourishing meal or when you've just gone out for a walk on your own and it felt really restorative. Or you've just met up with your besties and had some great laughs. But how often are we really giving ourselves the resources to restore and maintain our capacity, I would say the opposite often happens that we spend more energy scrambling to deal with our lack of capacity rather than we spend building it.

What are needs? At a basic level, they are simple things like food, water, shelter, sleep. They can also be more complicated, like friendship, personal accomplishment, and sense of purpose. Sometimes it can be difficult to meet these needs, or to even know what they are. Join me today while I discuss needs and how to meet them in all aspects of your life.   In this episode I discuss:  What are your needs and how to figure that out  Understanding your relationship to 'your needs' and 'the needs of others'  Communal vs Individual cultures What we learn about needs from our culture, our family, and how gender bias impacts our view on meeting our needs Addressing needs in a relationship, expressing needs Meeting the needs of others, how do we show up for this   All the fun links you might enjoy  Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs (wikipedia) Podcast playlist Think the best of me: Hard and awesome Capable or controlling My husband put the groceries away wrong, he doesn’t love me Instagram  Simple Saturdays Email (sign up here) Email me here   Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month) Email me here  Follow me on Instagram     FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca. Welcome, welcome back to the podcast. Or maybe Welcome back to me, because it seemed that I was on a hiatus from sharing new episodes. And what happened is I had an episode ready to go. And I didn't post it. The other week, I shared this in the simple Saturdays email that I had just decided the content wasn't right. And sometimes this happens, sometimes, I'll go through the whole process of drafting up an episode, maybe even recording it and just deciding it's not the right content, not the right time, too much too little, that kind of thing. So now I'm back in the recording chair, which just a normal chair. But what I found is that I had to really listen to myself and give myself permission to not post that and take the risk that there wouldn't be this consistent content, which is always what we're told, we need to be doing sharing consistent content. And the reality is that it took me a while to get back to because my days are pretty full. And I was also sick for a while. As I was trying to get a new episode done, I was observing the sense of overwhelming me. And I was taking stock of what I'm doing with my days, versus what I'm expecting myself to do with my days. And I'm realizing that I am taking on more and more clients, and spending so much more time in those one on one sessions and in research for the sessions. That is time that in the past, I would easily spend researching and recording podcast episodes, I had time to do draft episodes and episodes that just never made the cut. Because that's the amount of time I have for that. This is a season for me, where those one to one sessions are really taking priority. But I do want to try my best to still show up here with new ideas new discussion, mainly because of the feedback you guys give me the messages you send me the Instagram DMS, you send me sharing that this podcast is of high value to you. And I want to keep offering that in ways that are sustainable for me. So if you're ever feeling like you want to hear a new episode, and I haven't brought one out, I do encourage you to scroll through past episodes because there's like, well over 100 there. I'm going to put links in the show notes of all the playlists that I have made. They're on Spotify, they're also on my website. And you can look up by topic of interest what you want to hear more about. There's habit change, slow living, emotional intelligence, minimalism, parenting on purpose. So I encourage you, if you ever like oh, I just want to hear more, go and listen to those. Funny enough here I was saying, Okay, I'm gonna have some time this morning,

Giving your child extra attention might seem like a great idea, but if it’s the wrong type of attention it could do more harm than good. Let’s learn what it means to parent intentionally and make proactive connections with your family.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode I discuss:  Why we get stuck in the negative Our negativity bias as parents Your experience of motherhood The Nurtured Heart approach How to use this approach on 'difficult' kids   All the fun links you might enjoy:  Is momlife unfun? How to be a more fun mom, to stop withholding fun from yourself  More on the negativity bias When I stopped enjoying my kids Change your motherhood experience by changing how you make memories Why you aren’t thriving in motherhood (stress and surviving) Conscious parenting through the struggles, and letting go of perfectionism in motherhood Transforming the Difficult Child: the Nurtured Heart Approach  Article on Nurtured Heart Approach  Do you typecast your kids? (Labels and how they impact our parenting and our kids) Check out the episode playlists for your topic of interest right here   Simple pleasure links The wordle (also search wordle unlimited for more) The heardle (also search heardle unlimited) Spot the difference site (click explorer games for more variety and levels) Highlights hidden pictures book Spot the difference brain games book  Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   Full transcript (unedited) 0:18 So friends around here, I like to talk about all the ways that we can turn off the autopilot living, just living reactively by default for me, it looked like a lot of complacency and step into doing things on purpose with intention, getting clear and focused on where we want to go and taking steps to get there. Today we're going to talk about intentional parenting, just parenting in general, but doing it with intention. And the topic of focus can come up in parenting, when we start thinking, what are we focusing on? What gets the most attention, what gets our most attention in a single day, what gets our attention as a parent. And I don't know if you're like me, but it can go to demands and the urgency who needs to be aware what needs to happen, what needs to be cooked, who's eating one of the eating, where the eating, and it's like, we're just directors of all of this. And of course, as our kids get older, we can start to give them ownership of this and they can start self directing. But our attention in a given day, it can really be given mostly to the problems at hand, stop shouting Sydney, clean up your mess, put that away. And I know that there are seasons of my own motherhood, where I don't even want to talk anymore, because I'm just sick of hearing myself talk. And then I start to think, man, my kids aren't really listening to me, I don't really want to listen to me either. 1:38 They don't have such a bad idea about this, after all. Anyways, this is a really common place that we can find ourselves in as parents, a season of no a season of constant correction, a season of constant discipline. And then instead of motherhood, feeling like this enjoyable experience, it feels like a perpetual power struggle. And there's this urgency and every day is just full of problems that we feel we cannot solve. So if you are here, welcome. Yeah, we are all here. Sometimes, some of us get stuck here. And we get stuck here for a few good reasons. Actually, we get stuck here, we start to live in this story. And this becomes the emotional habit we operate from. And I'll tell you why it kind of makes sense. We get stuck here because on one hand, the more we're thinking this the stories, the more we're feeling these emotions,

Motivation. It is something we all want more of. However, every day we take little actions and make little choices that are coming from motivation. A motivation to avoid something or a motivation to move towards something. And why does it matter what is motivating us?     In this episode: Motivation vs lack of motivation How to know when you are operating from AWAY motviation Spotting the victim mindset or scarcity mindset How to know when you are operating from TOWARDS motivation Motivation and abundance mindset         Mentioned in this episode: The group coaching call, Feb 2 2023 The Making Change Challenge, sign up here for the four lessons and worksheets Send me a message on Instagram Share your thoughts with the Facebook group  The Enneagram and Motherhood series Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr) The not-enough mindset (scarcity and abundance)     Full Transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, welcome back is Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counsellor from simple on purpose.ca. So you might have figured out that this podcast is a biweekly podcast. But last week, I dropped a bonus episode about not knowing what you want in life. And I talked about six reasons why dreaming or thinking of your life on purpose might actually be hard. I wanted to share that episode early so that you could have time to sign up for the group coaching call on February 2, if that's something you're interested in, I'll link info on that in the show notes. And essentially, that call is a time where you can bring the work you want to do with intentional living this year. And I'll answer any of your questions and also bring people on live for coaching. In the past, I've run group programs, I used to run the life on purpose Academy, back in 2020, and then ran a couple group programs in 2021, I took a little bit of a break. And now I'm thinking of unique and different ways to bring that group coaching aspect back into things. Because in my own experience of being part of group programs is just listening to other people just hearing their questions answered, you get so much value, even though it might not be the exact same issue. Just the themes are relevant, and the approaches can be applied in so many different ways. So I find a lot of value in those. Also, I just really love hanging out with you guys. I love that community aspect. I'm always looking for ways to encourage community amongst you, listeners and blog readers. So I'll link that in the show notes. If you're interested. I wanted to follow that up with one more episode of ideas and approaches to help you be really mindful about the future that you're creating. So I wanted to share on the topic of motivation, because motivation is kind of like how do you feel with that word? How does your body feel? Motivation is something we're always trying to get. Because we know how we act when we feel motivated. When we feel motivated, we get things done. So our approach to getting things done is to find motivation, manufacture motivation, harness motivation. But as the wonderful Mel Robbins has taught us, you won't always feel like it. And if you listen to how you feel when it comes to what you want, you will not get it, because you won't always feel like it. So I'm going to share today a portion of some training that I've done on two types of motivation that is towards motivation and away motivation. And this is from the making change challenge that I released this time three years ago. And it is a series of four audio lessons and worksheets that I walk you through. It's a free challenge. So I'll link that in the show notes if that's something you're interested in signing up for and using. So we're gonna listen to this brief training on motivation. And I really want you to pay attention as you're listening to understanding what is motivating you right now.

I want to talk to you about listening more deeply to yourself and asking, "what do I want?". For some of us, we are out of touch with our dreams or our life vision. We might feel overwhelmed, or like it is impractical, or like we have failed too much in the past. This episode is to help you see some of the ways you might be stuck with listening to your own dreams and ideas, and some tips on moving through that.    “A ship is safe in the harbour but that is not what ships are for” - source unknown, probably John A Shedd  "You have to show up before inspiration will." - James Clear   Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode I discuss:  Listening to yourself on a deep level and on a surface level Six reasons why it might be hard to know your dreams and goals Giving yourself permission to have dreams and ideas and goals Being a mom who struggles to dream and feels selfish to have goals Learning to inspire yourself   All the fun links you might enjoy  Six signs you are living on autopilot Are you too comfortable? And what is it costing you? Are you trading in peace for relief? The joy of being mediocre Redefine the life you want and what success looks like Hurdles to being a mom who has dreams and hobbies What you can learn from imposter syndrome For the mom waiting for life to happen  Dreaming for the non-dreamer, from A Little Light  Join me on Instagram    Sign up for the Feb 2nd Group Coaching Call - open to anyone who has questions or would like coaching on this topic and the topic of creating your future Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   Full transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simpleonpurpose.ca If you are joining us for the new year, if you just started searching like intentional living or living life on purpose or goals or something, and you found this podcast, welcome, I'm so glad you're here. Just to give you the quick and fast context, I am a mom of three kids who are now 1110, and eight. And around here we talk about ways to simplify your home, your heart and your life. So that so that you can show up for your life and live your life on purpose, live it intentionally live it with peace and purpose and presence and enjoy it. This episode is a follow up to the last one on creating your future and how we actually have the power to create our future when we turn off the autopilot. And some of the main points to notice in that episode were that we're really conditioned on how we show up in the world. And we really live from that condition. So everything we learned from our upbringing, from our past informs what we believe is possible, what is acceptable, what is safe, what to pursue. And so essentially, really, our past everything we learned in our past how we've shown up in our past, it dictates how we show up for our future, our past dictates our future, when we're living on autopilot that is, but we have this part of our brain, when we are in a calm state we can access it is that part that allows us to think logically long term, big picture ideas. It's that part that says, Wait a minute, if I have ketchup, chips, and whiskey each night, where will that get me in five years? Is that where I want to be? Or sit? Is that part of our brain that says, I usually go through the day in a fog? I don't feel like I'm present with my kids. Is that what I want? And then what do I want? How do I want to show up as a mom, that's kind of the part of our brain that we get to tap into when we shut off the autopilot, we shut off the stress, the anxiety, and we just be still for a minute, I do have an episode from the past called Signs, you might be on autopilot, living on autopilot.

With 2023 finally here, it is time to start looking forward to the future and improve our health, relationships, and life. But sometimes it might be a good idea to look inwards as well and see if we intend to succeed in those goals passively, or actively. Kickstart the year by turning off the autopilot and living life intentionally.   Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode I discuss:  Taking charge of your own future  Advice to live life intentionally How our past affects our future, and how to use that in the present The compound effect of our habits  Three things you can do to help shape your future   All the fun links you might enjoy  Throw Throw Burrito (on Amazon) Change your experience by how you make memories in motherhood (episode link) Think the best of me, or not (embracing our hard and awesome) Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (mom martyr post) Our marriage was struggling, here are 12 things that helped (blog post) I’ve been living on autopilot (a post from 2015 on working through the frustration of waking up to a complacent life) For the mom who is waiting for life to happen (how waiting keeps us from taking action) Six things nobody told me about Intentional Living (when it is hard work to be intentional, but it is worth it) What will change cost you? Paying the status quo or investing in change (episode link) What we say about ourselves, and why it matters (self-limiting identity) Small things that can change your whole life (how I applied the compound effect to my life) Life on Purpose Workbook Live your vision worksheets Live your values worksheets  Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:11 Hello friends, happy 2023 Welcome back to the simple on purpose podcast. I am Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor, here to walk with you through all things about simplifying your home, your heart, your life, and living it on purpose. For us here in Canada, in my house, we celebrated Christmas over the holiday. My husband had time off, I had time off, like for real time off. And in the like, 11 years of motherhood. This was one of the few Christmases where I felt like I had a truly great time. So weird. I mean, of course, plans got cancelled. I got sick kids complained siblings thought the house was a mess. There was tears, there was feelings, mine included. But I don't know, maybe it's because I was really trying to have eyes for those really great moments. And you know, maybe because we also spent so much time with friends. I think that was really important. We spent a lot of time with our friends and our kids friends. We played games as a family mostly throw throw burrito, have you played that it's a card game. But then you like stopped to take these dodgeball battles. And I have a friend who said they eventually gave that game away because it was traumatic for her household. And I get it because just last night, I had a tantrum. I think all of us have rotated, taking turns having tantrums playing Throw, throw burrito. But it is so fun. I'll link that in the show notes. So for me, as a mom, this Christmas had a lot of just simple, great memories, time that we spent together time we spent with friends. And this is a Christmas I'm going to definitely write about in my memory book. So I have a memory book I keep where I write down the really great things that I want to kind of make up my experience of motherhood. I'll link an episode I've done on that in the past two years, about making memories and motherhood if you want to check that out. So we're coming into the new year, maybe you celebrated Christmas maybe celebrated something else, maybe you didn't don't celebrate anything over the winter break.

With all the planning, gift wrapping, baking, and decorating, this time of year can get crazy, and life seems to just stop until the 25th is well behind us. Today I wanted to talk about the concept of Hygge and how to make Christmas feel a little simpler, a little more manageable, and a little more enjoyable. And put this all against the backdrop of the stress response we can find ourselves in as mothers. Understanding the concept of the Window of Tolerance can give you more awareness over times when you feel little capacity for daily life and seem to run on overwhelm and stress.    In this episode I discuss:  The three components of Hygge Holiday activities and how to get the family involved Decluttering Christmas Our Window of Tolerance    All the fun links you might enjoy  All posts and episodes about Simple Christmas Posts and episodes on hygge 30 days of hygge free calendar Enneagram + Motherhood series Enneagram 101 post and episode  CBC Gem  Why you aren’t thriving in motherhood (stress and surviving) Episode playlist on emotional intelligence for moms  An intro to polyvagal theory (window of tolerance) Infographic on the window of tolerance Reactive vs proactive approach to the day Simple Christmas Planner Simple Saturdays email   Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)       FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited)   0:15 Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. Around here we talk about ways that you can simplify your home, your heart and your life. So that you can remove all the distractions, all of the clutter, all of the excess, and just show up for the stuff that really matters the most to you the stuff that is really important to you. So as I was preparing for the podcast this week, I was drafting up a podcast on goals and visions and creating a future you love. And then I was like, if I heard this right now in the middle of Christmas, I don't think I would even be listening to it. Because like kind of just stops around Christmas, right? Which I don't mind. I really love the idea of hibernating a little. I think it really honors this season that we're in we when we can step back from that pace of summer and spring and kind of pay attention to what nature is doing and model it a little bit flow with it and let ourselves hibernate a little bit more. So there's my soapbox moment, let's all hibernate a little bit more this winter. Which brings me to the notion of Hygge I'm probably going to use the word 'hoo-ga' nd 'hyg' interchangeably, but it is pronounced hygge. You guys are asking me about it right now you want me to talk about this. So here we go. In December, I often talk about simplifying your Christmas. But all of that content is out there. I am going to link to the simple Christmas series in the show notes, where I talk about simplifying gift giving traditions, giving kids toys without feeling overrun with clutter, how to make your gifts more thoughtful, all those basics, they're covered. So I thought I would just expand into a different direction on things that help you feel like your Christmas is simpler and cozier and maybe more manageable, more enjoyable. So the first thing we'll talk about is hygge, which is a Danish word that doesn't have any direct English translation and it just embodies this atmosphere of simplicity, of being cozy of being with others togetherness and of contentment. I think we've all seen especially on Pinterest, the stock images of a woman she's like draped on her white couch or her white bed. She's got a long white knit sweater on cozy Christmas socks. I don't know, do her legs get cold, I don't know. Mind read. She's holding a mug of tea and there's a fluffy blanket like draped around her. And that's what they tell us who got is we might not think of a mum in her like old decade old house code and slippers, drinking her magnesium water at the end of the nigh...

Everyone has doubts and fears, but sometimes these doubts can manifest into something stronger and more potent, Imposter Syndrome. Today I go through a list of questions to help you inquire about the Imposter Syndrome within you, and how to act on what you find.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    Questions on how to inquire into the Imposter Syndrome within. Use these questions for self-inquiry, journalling is a great option.  How does imposter syndrome impact me?  When I doubt, what changes? How do I act?  When I have fear, what changes? How do I act from this place of fear? Where in my life does imposter syndrome show up? How long have I felt imposter syndrome? Is it long-standing? What seems to bring it on? How do I try to manage the part of me that feels imposter syndrome? How do I respond to that part of me? How does the ‘part of me that doubts’ think it is helping me? Protecting me? What does that ‘part of me that doubts’ need to feel safe When confidence is not available to me, what other feelings can help me with the doubt? How does the ‘part of me that is afraid of being found out’ think it is helping me? Who specifically am I afraid of ‘finding me out?’   All the fun links you might enjoy  Byron Katie, recommend her books, specifically Loving What Is Episode 162. Think the best of me (Hard and Awesome) Hayley Morris, comedian (one of my fave bits that she does) Episode 76. Why it matters what you think Simple Christmas Planner (find it with the On Purpose Workbooks)   Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   FULL TRANSCRIPT 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna here at girlfriend counselor from simple on purpose.ca.  So I am a mom of three I live in a small town in Canada, I have three kids, they are 11,10, and eight. And about eight years ago, seven or eight years ago, I was reading a book about decluttering. It's called The Joy of less by Francine J. And it was around Christmas time, and I was reading this book, and it suddenly hit me that I didn't need to keep all of the stuff I had in my house. So I went down to the basement, the basement of shame, there was like a walkway amongst some boxes that I could get from one door to another. And I started decluttering. And I was really hit with this awareness that I had been living my life, very complacently on autopilot. And going through that physical clutter of complacency. It really brought me to a place where I didn't want that in my life. I didn't want that in all areas of my life, I could just see suddenly, all of the ways I had been complacent in my life, living on autopilot. And that really prompted me to say, No, I'm going to put myself in the driver's seat, I'm going to take some action, I'm going to be intentional. And that was really what founded simple on purpose. It started with simplifying and it moved into living intentionally living on purpose. So around here, we keep this conversation going. Of course, I've gone through life coach training, I've gone through counselor training. And so I am bringing in all of these different aspects of the approaches that I've taken the conversations I've had over the years with women, with moms with clients. And I want to just this be a place where you can stop for a minute. And really start to think about ways you can simplify your home, your heart, your life in ways that you want to start showing up on purpose, living with more purpose, with more peace with more presence and more passion. I really believe we can all have a little bit more passion and enjoy our lives a little bit more. That's a whole other episode though. Let's talk about today's episode. So in the summer, I asked for episode topic requests, and I'm still working through those.

As much as we might want it to exist, there just isn’t a magical list or routine we can implement to make it an easy transition to have a second or third kid. And once they are here, it can quickly become overwhelming and seem impossible. Today I share some tips and advice to help make parenting more than one kid a little easier    In this episode I discuss:  Prepping your first-born for a new introduction in the family Some of my own tips and ideas, as a mother of three Managing sibling dynamics and conflict Lessons from the Playroom: Sibling Rivalry My commentary on some crowd-sourced advice   All the fun links you might enjoy  Emotional Intelligence (and improving relationships with your kids through emotion coaching) What moms of toddlers need to hear How to deal with the emotional struggles of being a mom of babies and toddlers Real-life advice on having two kids under two years old (blog post) Planning the day (reactive vs proactive) Four steps to manage overwhelm in motherhood When motherhood can change you but you can’t change motherhood Settling in motherhood Is a third baby harder than the second? Enneagram + Motherhood Series 11 things that make my mom life simpler More posts on motherhood   Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)     FULL TRANSCRIPT 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your Nerdy Girlfriend and counselor from simpleonpurpose.ca. Welcome to another episode of The Simple on Purpose podcast. 0:18 If you are following me on Instagram, you know that this past week I went away for a work retreat. Do you remember back in the day, if you've been around for a while I used to go on work retreats quite often, I used to also go on work retreats with a community that I had started with one of my besties called a little late. And we used to do them with a great group of women, we'd rent an Airbnb, we'd get food brought in. And we would just all hunker down and do work and kind of brainstorm together. Some of my favorite memories are those work retreats. And then in this, since then I've gone on my own, I've gone with a bestie. And I haven't done it for a few years. So I thought, I have this big deadline coming up to move my email service. So I'm just going to send myself away for a couple of nights, you might have read about it in the sublime purpose, or the simple Saturday's email. 1:04 So I went away to work on my email, my email service, and then sent out that week's simple Saturday's and the email was broken, the email program is not working. So I'm still working with tech support to get that back up and running. And either way, I spent a lot of my time prepping for this, you know, this email to be moved over. 1:26 So whew, all right, the work retreat was still a really valuable experience. Because I could just be selfish with my time, which I think it's a bad thing. I think we need to do that sometimes, if I'm working from home, which I always do, and the kids come home from school, and even though I say I'm gonna keep working till like maybe four or five, they're coming in, they're asking questions, I can hear everybody out there in the hall, talking about things and I'm like, oh, I should go like, tell them this or tell them that. And it's just it doesn't work, right. And then I don't feel like I can ever come back into work once I've gone out and you know, been with the fam. But when I'm alone in this hotel room, and I go from my computer, to the bathtub, back to my computer, again, to a snack platter of cheese and crackers, back to my computer. It's just a time where I don't have to be accountable to anyone but me. And I can just be all in on whatever I need to get done. So it was a really like, I didn't just hang out and watch Netflix the whole time. I was getting my work done. And then watching some Netflix for fun. I'm all caught up on love is blind if anyone wants to tal...

Whether your vision is to be the hangout spot on the block, or a place your kids still come to visit after moving out, small changes can be made to create a cozy, comfortable, and welcoming home for the quickly growing and ever-changing family.   Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode I discuss:  Having a vision for the kind of home you want to have Creating a peaceful house is not just simplifying and decluttering  Ep 69. Will a Simpler Home Bring Me Peace? Creating spaces in your home to foster certain activities and atmospheres for your family and friends  What makes kids think that a house is a good place to hang out at  Getting your kids to still hang out with you as they grow up and creating spaces that foster that connection Hygge and how to add this to your home  Three ways to bring hygge into your daily life 30 ways to hygge when it is cold outside Hygge vs minimalism    All the fun links you might enjoy  The Simple Christmas Planner Simple pleasures: Puzzles (side-by-side activities) Mom on Purpose Be the mom you are: how this one list can empower you to be the mom you are Ep 166. How to find confidence in being the mom you are Setting your Values and Vision The Life on Purpose Workbook The Live your Vision worksheets The Live your Values worksheets  The Perfect Moments Project Emotional Intelligence, for Moms (the podcast playlist) Ep 162. Hard and Awesome FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:09 Hey friends, welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. Around here we talk about all the ways all the ideas, all the mindsets and approaches that you can take to simplify your life, your home and your heart, kind of the inner experience as well, and show up for your life on purpose. So I am Shawna, if you are new here, and I am a mom of three kids, my kids are 11,10 and eight. And over the years, you guys have termed me to be your nerdy girlfriend. That's a nickname given to me in the simple Saturdays, email. So I proudly wear that name as a badge of honor. I am your nerdy girlfriend, your counselor and your life coach. And hey, I'm in small town, Canada. So here we are preparing for the winter, as fall is going to be wrapping up soon. And winter, hey, I did some Christmas shopping on my lunch break today, ordered some things and I want to make sure they get here in time. So I'm gonna put that out there. It's kind of like those reminders, go pull me out of the freezer for dinner, go order some things that you need for Christmas. And if you want to really get intentional about your Christmas this year, I have something called the simple and Christmas planner. I'll link that in the show notes if you're interested in that. So today I'm going to be sharing another question that was sent in through the simple Saturday's email. Let me toggle over to the right window to read it to you. All right, I would love to hear another episode on making small changes in our home to make it more of a haven for the quickly growing and ever changing kids, and how to keep it a safe and cozy place that they want to be in. Oh, I just love that idea. All right. So before I get into this, sometimes I get a stuckness with getting the podcast recorded. And I know there's a lot of different factors that go into that. But sometimes that stuckness is about me, really second guessing what I'm sharing. So something that just helps me to say upfront is all of this is just my, my opinion. These are my ideas. I don't believe that motherhood is prescriptive that life, how it should look for you should look the copy of someone else. Like I believe that you need to tap into your own values, your own strengths, your own passions, your own quirks, and live into motherhood from that place be a mum on purpose.

Planning the day can be an overwhelming chore that you are constantly behind in. Sticking to that plan can be frustrating and seem impossible. I want to share a few ways that I keep myself on track and having a proactive day, rather than a reactive day.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode I discuss:  The crafty form of planning, bullet journaling  How to get started bullet journalling  The three planners that I found worked the best  Moleskin Weekly Planner Passion Planner Ban.Do Planner  The crown jewel of planning apps, Google Calendar, and how I use it to plan effectively  How to organize and use your To-Do list to check things off How I prioritize my To-Do list, shiting from a should-do to a could-do mindset  Planning a proactive day rather than having a reactive day, especially with chores Cognitive distortions and how to get out of that All-or-nothing thinking  Meal prepping    All the fun links you might enjoy    How to get started bullet journalling  Planning the day for moms The freedom you can gain from planning your day Procrastination tips for moms Does your to-do list overwhelm you? Do you trust yourself to show up for you?  How to move from ambivalent to ambitious    Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)     TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:09 Hello friends welcome back to the simple on purpose podcast. My name is Shawna, you guys know me as your nerdy girlfriend and life coach and counselor. And if you are new here, if you found the podcast over the summer, welcome, I'm so glad you are here. At simple on purpose, we talk about ways to simplify, simplify your home, your heart, your life, and do things on purpose, do life on purpose, turn off the autopilot, turn off the default mode, that we're just living in life reactively to life and letting things happen, like letting life happen at us and moving into an intentional space, being really proactive with who we are, how we want to show up our lives and what we want to get out of our life. So that's the premise of what we talk about here. I'm really glad you're here. I let you know earlier that I had taken the summer off, I was finishing up my schooling to become a registered professional counselor. And now I'm on the other side of that I've gone through certification, I am working on my supervision hours with my supervisor. And I just really had no idea what I would come back to in terms of what simple on purpose was going to look like. I think I still don't know, people are asking me am I going to open up and like on purpose Academy again, am I going to keep the podcast going like all these plans, and I'm just like, I don't know, I don't know what I'm doing. But I am really enjoying the connection that I have with you guys over podcast, I love getting messages from you on Instagram over email letting me know that it's something that's part of your life part of your day. And it's something that's helping you, which is really my whole goal, right. And my whole goal is to empower moms to empower women to empower you guys to live simple on purpose. So I don't know what the future holds. I'm really open to it to where my life will take me and where these career plans take me. But let's keep digging into the podcast, I asked for suggestions on podcast topics I've asked in the simple on purpose, email, what you guys would like to hear about. And so today I'm going to talk about one of those suggested topics. And by the way, if you guys are not on the simple Saturdays email, that's an email that comes out twice a month. So it's not overwhelming. And I try to make that a place that's just fun and connected. And I share pictures, I share pictures of what I'm decluttering I share links to things I'm loving,

Answering decluttering, simplifying and momlife questions that were sent in through the Simple on Purpose community group. Covering topics including organization, procrastination, decluttering kids' clothes, showing up well for momlife.  Make sure to check out the show notes for more related links on these questions     Questions that were sent in: I'm reworking a room in our house soon to be an office/media room and trying to figure out a system for office supplies, books, devices, charging cables etc. It wants to turn into a catch-all space... If you have any thoughts on that? Thanks! What Pinterest Doesn’t Tell You About Home Organization 5 common mistakes moms make when organizing their homes, and what to do about it (+ cheatsheet of 5 more) 157. How I tackled decluttering my office and kids craft drawers + how I handle the resistance to decluttering The old basement home office Adding a desk to my (upstairs) home office Tips for vehicle/trunk organization Considering a bin/bag system Simplifying kid's shoes A question to start with to know what next steps you need Seasonal declutter: Keeping track of what is in storage Do you have any on simplifying kids' clothes? (big, wearing, grew out of) Decluttering with Kids Guide I’m moving in the next few months and have been working on all the decluttering and packing etc. I have 2 kids under 5. What I notice is that I have a hard time getting started on the jobs involved until the last minute when there is a big push and looming deadline. I’d love to work on a more peaceful and gradual approach to get it all done  How I found myself procrastinating this morning Questions to ask yourself when doing self-inquiry into your own procrastination 153. How to move from ambivalent to ambitious (making change takes more than just willpower) 154. What to do now that you are motivated (simplify getting started) 135. Procrastination tips for moms 15 Practical Tips for Moms to GET STUFF DONE 164. How I am finding balance in my life this year How To Plan Your Day As a Mom (3 Simple Steps) More on mom life - especially toddler mom life, being purposeful and present, enjoying it. The frustration of attaining freedom and independence, for parents and toddlers   Good enough mother (parent)  If I could go back and talk to myself about 7 years ago when I had two toddlers and a baby: Happiness is still available to me  Allowing every day to be hard and awesome 87. Why it is hard to be a present parent, and what to do about it 138. Is momlife UNFUN? How to be a more FUN MOM, stop withholding fun from yourself 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions What Moms of Toddlers Need to Hear 73. How to deal with the emotional struggles of being a mom of babies and toddlers 74. Show up for momlife with these empowering mindsets 163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) Finding Joy In Your Every Day (#theperfectmomentsproject) Summer wrap-up! Thank you for all the reviews and messages and emails you have sent, I am here for the COMMUNITY! Please do keep in touch! Expect an Instagram hiatus this summer, but please do make sure to USE the Facebook group  - and declutter it if you aren't going to use it.  Make sure you are on the Simple Saturdays email to get the bi-weekly newsletter to keep getting Simple on Purpose inspiration through the summer.  Save your favourite Simple on Purpose podcast playlist on Spotify to listen to this summer   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:00 Yes, I'm taking a summer break kind of at least a break from the podcast, which I'm sad about, I really enjoy the podcast. It's a place for me to just bring up what are the what other topics are on my brain are being discussed.

How do we teach our kids contentment? I want to unpack this question from all angles. From why it is hard for us as parents, how we teach them reactively vs on purpose, where the emotion of contentment comes from, the purpose of discontentment and growing our tolerance of discontentment.      Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.  Topics covered in this episode: The difference between being happy vs being content Happiness as a parenting goal can be very defeating and maybe even counterproductive Should happy kids be our parenting goal Recognizing that we live in a culture that is obsessed with happiness The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris  66. Are you stuck in the hustle for happiness? Finding contentment in momlife Teaching our kids contentment, how we do it reactively and without intention Pretending you're happy Parenting Book: Review for Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child 120. Teaching our kids emotional intelligence Guilt and deprivation The ‘not-enough’ mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) Consider how we learn contentment in our own lives  How to really start showing up for your life How To Find Your Enneagram Type (and how it has changed my life) Hard and awesome (from Think The Best of Me) 140. Give your discomfort a purpose #uncomfortableonpurpose 115. A Controlling mom, or a capable mom? Finding Joy In Your Every Day (#theperfectmomentsproject) How to get that feeling (why values matter + free LIVE YOUR VALUES worksheet) How Simplifying Your Home Can Teach You Who You Are Comparing where your kids are to where other kids are. The pitfalls of using what you see, socially, to determine where you and your kids *should be* Understanding your own motivation on why you want your kids to be content How we measure success as parents The Baby That Always Cried (Our Story With Esophagitis) God’s Grace Through Difficult Parenting 166. How to find confidence in being the mom you are, intentional motherhood What is hard about seeing your kids feel discontent 119. Tolerating tough emotions in our kids (and ourselves) The CBT framework: our emotions come from our thinking  76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) What We Say About Ourselves (and why it matters) I Think, I Am! By Louise Hay Big Life Podcast (growth mindset for kids) Making Change: Do you have a growth mindset or a fixed mindset? (growth mindset for adults) Our natural discontentment Enjoying the simple pleasures (why it is hard and how to do it) The purpose of the emotion 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions 123. Myths about emotion coaching our kids [LIVE]  Seeing the good, intentionally Contentment and knowing our values Happiness that is marketed to us, versus what we crave for contentment Addressing how our kids use comparison and how we can teach them about comparison in the context of contentment   Teaching our kids to look internally rather than externally Showing, rather than telling, our kids about the different life experiences in the world The role we have as parents to model contentment and honour the times our kids feel discontent  Room to make mistakes while we learn    Stop by the Facebook group to share your thoughts and ideas or tag or message me on Instagram   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend from simpler purpose.ca. Welcome to Simple on Purpose podcast. So today I am doing one of the last posts until I wrap up the podcast for the summer. I'm going to spend my summer just balancing the two jobs that I have on the go. Finishing up school,

Being a mom on purpose means stepping into your strengths as well as stepping into your struggles.  This means letting go of perfectionism and the chase to be the ideal mom and have the ideal kids.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.  This episode covers: What is conscious parenting Parenting on auto-pilot, why we do it and how it is different from mindful parenting When our kids are difficult we try to 'out-difficult' them, and what we can do instead How conscious parenting challenges our western parenting culture and how many of us were raised Quote from Dr. Sheflai Unless we address why we can’t embrace our children for precisely who they are, we will forever either seek to mold, control, and dominate them—or we will allow ourselves to be dominated by them.Tsabary, Dr. Shefali. The Conscious Parent (p. 54). Namaste Publishing Inc.. Kindle Edition. How our kid's struggles bring us face to face with our own struggles When our kids aren't easy, they are challenging the things we have conditioned ourselves to be uncomfortable with Letting go of the notion that we are meant to be perfect parents The messy relationships and the struggle matter as much as the peace we crave Hard doesn't mean you are doing it wrong, it often simply means you are doing it   Related links and episodes mentioned 53. Change your motherhood experience by changing how you make memories The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali The key elements of Conscious Parenting Never Say No by Jan and Mark Foreman Three Books That Changed My Mothering Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month) Join me on Instagram      Full transcript (unedited) 0:07 Hey friends welcome to simple purpose. I'm here to girlfriend Shawna. And this is a follow up episode to episode 166. So I encourage you to stop by and listen to that one versus 13 minutes pretty quick. In that one, we talked about understanding that you can be a mom on purpose because you were made on purpose. It's not a checklist you have to make. It's something that's already inside of you everything you bring into motherhood, your strengths, your struggles, they all matter. They all help your family and you learn and grow together. And I think we can hyper focus on giving our kids this idyllic childhood, I think we can get caught up in all of the Pinterest requirements on how childhood has to look. But the motherhood experience matters just as much it matters. Motherhood matters as much to us as childhood matters to our kids. So our experience matters. This is important. If you want to dig in a little bit into that, check out episode 53 Change your motherhood experience by changing how you make memories. I'll link that in the show notes. So as we talk about being a mom on purpose, having confidence in the mom you are made to be. I want to also match that with the topic of conscious parenting because this is another layer that I brought into my own parenting over my parenting journey. And I'm aware, I'm a newbie in terms of my parenting career. But this is what I've learned along the way. And this is what I want to share. So conscious parenting Dr. Shefali, literally wrote the book on it. And I'll link that book in the show notes. I've read it, I have lots of highlights in it. It's really, really great. conscious parenting in general is a philosophy that says, our kids are reflecting things to us that we need to be conscious of that we need to be aware of. Because we spend our days living and parenting on autopilot from that subconscious, automatic programming that's running the show. Because how often are you really mindful? How often are you thinking about every decision, every thought, every reaction, every emotion that you're having? How often are you consciously in that rarely, right?

Motherhood is a journey and there are stepping stones along the way of things we learn. I want to share a few of my stepping stones with you. They are around parenting from our own strengths, rather than focussing on what we are doing wrong. I want to share a few ways you can find confidence within yourself rather than from comparison and external validation.      In this episode I talk about: the Perfect Mom Checklist Making your own list for motherhood Where to start when you want to do motherhood, on purpose Parenting from checklists and comparison and how can create pride or shame Where we try to find shortcuts to confidence Where we can truly find confidence Finding connection and fun in motherhood   Related links and episodes mentioned: 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. How this one list can empower you to be the mom you are The ‘not-enough’ mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) 76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) 163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun The Mom, on Purpose podcast playlist     Full transcript (unedited) 0:00  This is a place where we just stop for a minute we slow down and we talk about the ways that we can simplify our lives, remove the distractions, remove the clutter, and start living on purpose with intention shutting off that autopilot. Today I want to talk about doing this in motherhood being a mom on purpose, something that's helped me is to think about motherhood as a journey. So I have three kids, they are 11. One's going to be 10 Soon, and one's going to be eight soon. And so I like to think about the journey I've been on over the past 11 years. For me, it really has been a journey where I started off clueless, I mean, my son, my firstborn son, was the first newborn I ever held. I also started off worried, which was my nature, but that I think that's something you bring into motherhood, you're worried about everything you don't know up against everything you're dealing with. And along the way, you learn. You listen, you try, you adjust, you wait, you learn, you learn what the different color poops mean, you learn how to set schedules and rules. You learn how to find peace, when everything is making you anxious. And you learn how to sit through the hard parts. Rather, rather than just scrambling to fix everything all the time you learn your way you learn the journey. And it really is a journey nobody can take for you. I think we're all looking to other people for the solution for the path. And I think there's a lot of mentorship available, we can support one another. But it really is your own personal journey. If I look back on things that I had wrote, during my earliest years of motherhood, and on the journals that I kept, at that time, I can see the path that I was on, I can see the things that I was learning, I can see little insights, little nuggets, little, not even little, but sometimes they were huge things that I learned that got me from here to there. And then again, from here to there again, and from here to there, again, just like stepping from one step to the next. So today, I want to share one of those things that felt very impactful at moving me along this journey. This is something that has brought me so much peace and empowerment in motherhood. And I want to share it because I think we don't hear it enough. And I think we're looking for it. What we're looking for is confidence in motherhood and confidence in being the mom we are in parenting from the strength of who we are meant to be, rather than focusing on what we're doing wrong. This was a message I heard early on in motherhood, and it was really impactful for me. And so as I coach other moms, and they share this message with them, and I hear them take it in and start to think maybe that could be ...