Haystacks & Hell

Haystacks & Hell

Stories about growing up Seventh-day Adventist, leaving faith behind, and building new, fulfilling lives. read less
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Season 2

S2:E1 - Meet Erika: ex-SDA Teacher, Mom, Survivor of Abuse
30-09-2023
S2:E1 - Meet Erika: ex-SDA Teacher, Mom, Survivor of Abuse
Support the Show • Support on Patreon — Santiago interviews Erika Miller, an ex-SDA teacher, mom, and survivor of abuse. As a young child, Erika was abused by a deacon's son at her home church. She shares her amazing story of resilience, attending Newbold College in the UK, and eventually leaving the Adventist church.Resources Mentioned: Erika's email: swimlass [at] gmail.com Therapists and Mental Health Resources Unbelievable - Netflix Show The Netflix show linked above is not about Erika's story, but it's linked here as we briefly discussed Erika’s desire to go into law (timecode 44:32). She was discouraged by her parents, who said the legal profession isn't suitable for a Christian woman. I mentioned the show because it’s based on a true story of a serial r*pist who got away with his crimes in part by committing them in different cities or counties, and the police departments didn’t share any information with each other.The show centers on a woman who was the most recent victim and spoke to the police, but the two male detectives who questioned her didn’t believe her and ultimately gaslit her into recanting her testimony. It wasn’t until a female detective began noticing a pattern and believed the victim that they finally were able to put the pieces together and catch the r*pist.The show is relevant because it illustrates how discouraging women from entering certain professions has put us at a disadvantage, and why listening to victims is incredibly important.Full Transcripts, resources and more: hell.bio/S2E1— Have a story to share? Write to us, send a DM or voice message on Instagram, or leave a voicemail at (301) 750-8648‬. We take your privacy seriously: Privacy Policy — Twitter • TikTok • Instagram • YouTube • Facebook — Credits: Music: Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) • Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
S2:E4 - Meet Will: ex-SDA Husband, Dad, Lawyer - Pt. 2
21-10-2023
S2:E4 - Meet Will: ex-SDA Husband, Dad, Lawyer - Pt. 2
Support the Dunk Family • Support the Show — Part 2 of 2: Santiago interviews Will James, an ex-Adventist husband, dad, lawyer, and TikToker based in the U.S. state of Oklahoma. We discuss writing wills for SDA church members, Will's deconstruction from Adventism, telling his parents, and navigating his own parental responsibilities after deconstructing at just the right moment.Topics Mentioned: Will's Law Practice Website Will's TikTok (@will.i.jam) Ada Lois Sipuel Fisher Iyanla Vanzant "The past is present" Rachel Held Evans (Author) Peter Ennes (Author) Non-binary Gender Singular They Left-handednessOther Episodes Mentioned: Melissa Duge Spiers Interview (S1E10 - Part 1) Melissa Duge Spiers Interview (S1E11 - Part 2) Matthew Vollmer Interview (S1E16 - Part 1) Matthew Vollmer Interview (S1E17 - Part 2) Race, Slavery, and Racism in Christianity and Adventism (S1E19) The Amalgamation of Man and Beast!? (S1E20)Adventist Estate Stories: Bahamian Family Alleges $30 Million Fraud Involving 3ABN SDA Church Stealing Estates Grandma’s money went to 3ABNFull Transcripts, resources and more: hell.bio/notes — Have a story to share? Write to us, send a DM or voice message on Instagram, or leave a voicemail at (301) 750-8648‬. We take your privacy seriously: Privacy Policy — Twitter • TikTok • Instagram • YouTube • Facebook — Credits: Music: Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) • Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
S2:E6 - Charli: Escaping her Adoptive SDA Parents - Pt. 1
04-11-2023
S2:E6 - Charli: Escaping her Adoptive SDA Parents - Pt. 1
Support the Dunk Family • Support the Show — Santiago interviews Charlotte Hayes (Charli), a Gen-Z ex-Adventist. She was adopted from Russia and brought to the U.S. as a baby by an Adventist couple. Growing up, Charli experienced emotional, physical, and sexual abuse at home. The police and Child Protective Services investigated, but nothing happened, so she ran away from home at 18. She now has over 500k people on TikTok who have been following her life story.Charli's Links: TikTok @charli.hayes Instagram @charlihayes_ YouTube @charlihayes_Resources / Topics Mentioned: VeggieTales - Jericho Slushies Battle (Genocide) of Jericho - Wikipedia IBLP - Wikipeda Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets Alisa Williams' Thread on SDAs & Shiny Happy PeopleKatie Morton - Licensed Therapist, YouTuber Religious Trauma-informed Therapists & Other ResourcesSupport for Victims of Abuse: RAINN - National Sexual Assault Hotline Childhelp - National Child Abuse Hotline The Hotline - National Domestic Violence HotlineKati Morton Videos: Abuse Topic Playlist Sexual Abuse: How do we recover & how long does it take? What is Consent, Assault & Harassment? What's considered sexual abuse? Struggling with childhood sexual abuse? Healing from Sexual Abuse & IncestFull Transcripts, resources and more: hell.bio/notes — Have a story to share? Write to us, send a DM or voice message on Instagram, or leave a voicemail at (301) 750-8648‬. We take your privacy seriously: Privacy Policy — Twitter • TikTok • Instagram • YouTube • Facebook — Credits: Music: Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) • Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
S2:E12 - Rosei Quartz: Pastor's Kid turned Content Creator - Pt. 1
08-06-2024
S2:E12 - Rosei Quartz: Pastor's Kid turned Content Creator - Pt. 1
Support the Show • Santiago interviews Rosei Quartz, a former Seventh-day Adventist pastor's kid, content creator, and Twitch streamer. Rosei shares her Adventist upbringing, the pressures of parasocial relationships, and the high expectations placed upon her as a pastor’s kid. We cover her journey out of Adventism and how studying psychology played a big role.Resources / Topics Mentioned: Links - Rosei Quartz's Links Podcast - Rosei Quartz's PodcastPodcast - Armchair Expert - Cults (Rosei starts at 50:08)Topic - ComplementarianismBook - #ChurchToo: How Purity Culture Upholds Abuse and How to Find HealingTopic - LARPingTopic - Startle ResponseTopic - Cry NightsTopic - Hypervigilance & HyperawarenessTopic - Terror Management TheoryTopic - Thought-terminating clichéPodcast - H&H S1:E4 - When Did You Learn About...Playlist - Debunking Young Earth Creationism00:00 Intro00:13 Meet Rosei Quartz01:17 SDA Family History & Early Memories04:31 Sabbath Mornings07:33 Pastor's Kid Pressures17:48 Spiritual Manipulation & Content Creation26:49 Health Message & Ellen White30:28 "Spiritual Warfare" & Psychology38:28 Terror Management Theory41:55 Why Rosei Left Adventism43:35 Harmful Beliefs & Pseudoscience55:12 Crossing Ethical Boundaries57:46 Ethics & Behavior Modification1:00:37 High Demand Religion & Mental Health1:05:11 Personal Growth Outside the Church1:14:14 OutroFull Transcripts, resources and more: hell.bio/notes — Have a story to share? Write to us, send a DM or voice message on Instagram, or leave a voicemail at (301) 750-8648‬. We take your privacy seriously: Privacy Policy — Twitter • TikTok • Instagram • YouTube • Facebook — Credits: Music: Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) • Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
S2:E13 - Rosei Quartz: Pastor's Kid turned Content Creator - Pt. 2
15-06-2024
S2:E13 - Rosei Quartz: Pastor's Kid turned Content Creator - Pt. 2
Support the Show • Part 2 of Santiago's interview with Rosei Quartz, a former Seventh-day Adventist pastor's kid, content creator, and Twitch streamer. In this episode, we cover more of Rosei's deconstruction, finding contentment and a new outlook on life, complementarianism, consent, mental health, becoming a content creator, and more.Resources / Topics Mentioned: Links - Rosei Quartz's Links Podcast - Rosei Quartz's Podcast Topic - Complementarianism Topic - Attachment Styles Topic - Bill Gothard's "Umbrella of Protection" Reddit - ex-SDA comments on Gothard's Umbrella Topic - The FRIES Model of Consent Book - #ChurchToo: How Purity Culture Upholds Abuse and How to Find Healing Topic - Youth Wilderness / Troubled Teen Industry Topic - SWERF Definition Topic - BITE Model of Authoritarian Control Topic - Adventist GC "Human Sexuality Task Force" Podcast - S1B2 - Human Sexuality Task Force Topic - Weaponized Incompetence Podcast - The Dream (Examining MLMs)00:00 Intro00:17 Rosei's Deconstruction05:16 Contentment and New Worldview13:47 Complementarianism Hurts Everyone20:36 Purity Culture & Consent22:10 Journey into Online SW28:10 Work is Work32:27 Online SW vs. Traditional Work36:33 SWERFs vs. Autonomy45:04 Adventist Leadership52:52 Advice for Leaving the Church55:20 Where to Find Rosei 57:22 OutroFull Transcripts, resources and more: hell.bio/notes — Have a story to share? Write to us, send a DM or voice message on Instagram, or leave a voicemail at (301) 750-8648‬. We take your privacy seriously: Privacy Policy — Twitter • TikTok • Instagram • YouTube • Facebook — Credits: Music: Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) • Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
S2:E14 - From Faith & Fear to Freedom: Dee - Pt. 1
13-07-2024
S2:E14 - From Faith & Fear to Freedom: Dee - Pt. 1
Support the Show • Part 1 of Santiago's interview with Dee, a fourth-generation Seventh-day Adventist, about his SDA background, early baptism, education, and what led him out of the church. In our wide-ranging conversation, we discussed racial issues in Adventist schools, the Civil Rights Movement, and more.Resources / Topics Mentioned: Video - We Are the World Topic - Public Enemy Film - Malcolm X (1992) Topic - Assassination of MLK Jr. Topic - Poor People's Campaign Topic - The 15 Year Battle for MLK Jr Day Video - MLK: "A riot is the language of the unheard" Topic - White Americans Celebrated MLK's Death Topic - Ronald Reagan's wartime lies 00:00 Intro00:17 Meet Dee: 4th Gen Adventist02:49 Early Memories & Fearing Ellen White04:01 Questioning Church Teachings09:02 A Life-Changing Tragedy11:04 Living with Fear & Moving to Huntsville19:01 Baptism and Religious Pressure22:26 Purity Culture & Mixed Messages28:51 Weird "Health Message" Fads31:29 Racial Issues in Adventist Schools38:11 Civil Rights, Division, MLK43:30 Deconstructing Beliefs47:02 How Othering Manipulates Us53:07 The New Generation55:29 Trickle Down Greedonomics1:00:42 Dee's Adventist Education1:07:16 Goodbye Oakwood, Hello Adulthood1:11:26 OutroFull Transcripts, resources and more: hell.bio/notes — Have a story to share? Write to us, send a DM or voice message on Instagram, or leave a voicemail at (301) 750-8648‬. We take your privacy seriously: Privacy Policy —Twitter • TikTok • Instagram • YouTube • Facebook — Credits: Music: Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) • Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
S2:E15 - From Faith & Fear to Freedom: Dee - Pt. 2
28-09-2024
S2:E15 - From Faith & Fear to Freedom: Dee - Pt. 2
Support the Show • Part 2 of Santiago's interview with Dee. We discussed his questioning of Adventism and Christianity in general, Satanic Panic, his evolving perspectives on religion, and having empathy for believers. We also talked about Dee's move to Sweden, his childhood connection to Dr. Ben Carson, and how the Ben Carson on TV is not the same man Dee once knew.Resources / Topics Mentioned: Song - I'm Afraid I'll Go to Heaven by Moon Walker Book - Inside Rock Music (SDA anti-rock propaganda) Artist - Erykah Badu Video - Erykah Badu NPR Tiny Desk Concert Article - Dr. Ben Carson Video - Carson 1997 National Prayer Breakfast Speech @ 34:53 Video - Carson 2013 National Prayer Breakfast Speech @ 34:1000:00 Intro 01:05 Part 2 of Dee's Story 02:34 The Historical Jesus 04:42 Personal Tragedy and Realizations 07:34 Why Do People Leave? 13:47 Empathy for Believers 21:41 Segregated Conferences 26:17 Sweden, Racism, and CRT 32:58 Music and Satanic Panic 44:00 Dr. Ben Carson 49:39 Moving to Sweden 54:02 Ethics and Adventism 1:05:37 Closing Thoughts Full Transcripts, resources and more: hell.bio/notes — Have a story to share? Write to us, send a DM or voice message on Instagram, or leave a voicemail at (301) 750-8648‬. We take your privacy seriously: Privacy Policy — Twitter • TikTok • Instagram • YouTube • Facebook — Credits: Music: Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) • Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

Season 1