MensGroup Podcast

Sean Galla - MensGroup.com

Men want to overcome challenges and become better - for themselves and their loved ones. Yet the research shows that men have a lack of confidants and few male role models. To help give guys access to how healthy men think and behave, we interview leading men on common men's issues. Through https://mensgroup.com we have access to a lot of leading, successful men and subject experts who are great examples of how a man can think, feel and act while navigating challenges.

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180° Life Change – Craig Casaletto – MensGroup Podcast #10
13-09-2022
180° Life Change – Craig Casaletto – MensGroup Podcast #10
In this episode,  Craig Casaletto and Sean Galla from MensGroup get into being a man today.  We also get into the essential tools for change and the value of good communication.Today’s guest Craig Casaletto is a coach drawn to change men's lives around, and he’s here to talk about the main obstacles men face when aiming to make significant changes in their lives, and how to overcome them.   CHAPTERS:00:03:24 CHAPTER I –  The challenges of Change00:03:24 Being a Man TodayDespite the latest social breakthroughs, there is still is this old-school stereotypical take on what being a man is and how a man is supposed to behave and handle his problems, in which expressing his feelings and emotions in an open and healthy way is not on the table. 00:06:00 Making a 180° Change The first thing a man needs to know in order to make a substantial change in his life and mindset is that it’s possible. However, it will definitely be hard. It demands getting out of the comfort zone and taking action, whilst acknowledging that consistency and accountability are non-negotiable key elements throughout the process.  00:08:36 CHAPTER II –  Indispensable Tools for Change00:08:36 Components of a Winning MindsetPerhaps the most essential thing that’s needed to achieve a winning mindset comes down to changing our perspective of the word “failure”. Being comfortable with failing and taking it as just an opportunity to learn why some things didn’t work out can pay high dividends in the long run. In addition, going through failure definitely helps us appreciate and really cherish our accomplishments. 00:13:54 AccountabilityAccountability is one of the most important components when it comes to achieving your goals. Nowadays, finding inspiration out there is easy, and so can develop a plan toward your main objectives. However, holding yourself accountable for what you’ve decided to pursue is definitely the hardest part. 00:19:33 Confidence: When it comes to strengthening your confidence and working out your mindset, the procedure is not that different from going to the gym – you’ll just have to put in the reps and be consistent throughout a substantial period of time.  00:24:29 Success In order to be successful, you’ll first need to define what success means to you. Even though there’s a widely spread image of success that can lead men to believe they need to make a lot of money, drive a certain car or wear some specific shoes to be successful, the fact is that success itself is different for everybody. 00:30:36 CHAPTER III –  The Importance of Communication00:30:36 Communication in Relationships: Being comfortable with communication is crucial when it comes to keeping a healthy relationship. Being able to share your concerns honestly with your spouse or loved one is the best way to keep the air clean and avoid potential bad interpretations and false narratives that can eventually develop into an unpleasant relationship issue.  00:39:14 Consequences of an Obsolete Stereotype Many men don’t actually have real friends to talk to. They may have acquaintances, but when adversity strikes they come to realize they don’t have anyone around to rely on and share their feelings with. This is undoubtedly a consequence of an archaic stereotype, according to which any emotional expression from a man would be taken as a sign of weakness.
180° Life Change – Craig Casaletto – MensGroup Podcast #10
13-09-2022
180° Life Change – Craig Casaletto – MensGroup Podcast #10
In this episode,  Craig Casaletto and Sean Galla from MensGroup get into being a man today.  We also get into the essential tools for change and the value of good communication.Today’s guest Craig Casaletto is a coach drawn to change men's lives around, and he’s here to talk about the main obstacles men face when aiming to make significant changes in their lives, and how to overcome them.   CHAPTERS:00:03:24 CHAPTER I –  The challenges of Change00:03:24 Being a Man TodayDespite the latest social breakthroughs, there is still is this old-school stereotypical take on what being a man is and how a man is supposed to behave and handle his problems, in which expressing his feelings and emotions in an open and healthy way is not on the table. 00:06:00 Making a 180° Change The first thing a man needs to know in order to make a substantial change in his life and mindset is that it’s possible. However, it will definitely be hard. It demands getting out of the comfort zone and taking action, whilst acknowledging that consistency and accountability are non-negotiable key elements throughout the process.  00:08:36 CHAPTER II –  Indispensable Tools for Change00:08:36 Components of a Winning MindsetPerhaps the most essential thing that’s needed to achieve a winning mindset comes down to changing our perspective of the word “failure”. Being comfortable with failing and taking it as just an opportunity to learn why some things didn’t work out can pay high dividends in the long run. In addition, going through failure definitely helps us appreciate and really cherish our accomplishments. 00:13:54 AccountabilityAccountability is one of the most important components when it comes to achieving your goals. Nowadays, finding inspiration out there is easy, and so can develop a plan toward your main objectives. However, holding yourself accountable for what you’ve decided to pursue is definitely the hardest part. 00:19:33 Confidence: When it comes to strengthening your confidence and working out your mindset, the procedure is not that different from going to the gym – you’ll just have to put in the reps and be consistent throughout a substantial period of time.  00:24:29 Success In order to be successful, you’ll first need to define what success means to you. Even though there’s a widely spread image of success that can lead men to believe they need to make a lot of money, drive a certain car or wear some specific shoes to be successful, the fact is that success itself is different for everybody. 00:30:36 CHAPTER III –  The Importance of Communication00:30:36 Communication in Relationships: Being comfortable with communication is crucial when it comes to keeping a healthy relationship. Being able to share your concerns honestly with your spouse or loved one is the best way to keep the air clean and avoid potential bad interpretations and false narratives that can eventually develop into an unpleasant relationship issue.  00:39:14 Consequences of an Obsolete Stereotype Many men don’t actually have real friends to talk to. They may have acquaintances, but when adversity strikes they come to realize they don’t have anyone around to rely on and share their feelings with. This is undoubtedly a consequence of an archaic stereotype, according to which any emotional expression from a man would be taken as a sign of weakness.
Porn Addiction – Jordan Caron – MensGroup Podcast #9
21-06-2022
Porn Addiction – Jordan Caron – MensGroup Podcast #9
In this episode,  Jordan Caron and Sean Galla from MensGroup get into how to deal with porn addiction. We also get into the consequences of a porn-traumatized brain and what goes behind the porn industry.Today’s guest Jordan Caron is a MensGroup facilitator who leads a support group for guys that are dealing with porn addiction, and he’s here to talk about the pornographic industry and the negative impact that consuming porn can have on ourselves and our partners, both on a physical and an emotional realm.CHAPTERS:00:00:00 SINGLE CHAPTER –  Porn Addiction00:02:05 Porn Stats in the USAccording to official stats, around 200,000 Americans are or have been addicted to porn. This may sound like a pretty low number, but this can be explained by the fact that most men are in denial when it comes to acknowledging their relationship to porn. 00:07:56 Porn Traumatized Brain When a guy gets too used to getting off by just watching porn on a screen, his neural pathways get wired in a certain way that his brain doesn’t know anything else. This results in a so-called “Porn Traumatized Brain”, preventing a guy to be able to masturbate in a healthy way; let alone perform sexually with his partner. 00:14:47 The Behind the Scenes of PornOne of the most delicate subjects that most men miss when they stop to think about porn is the great amount of sex trafficking that goes on within this industry, even into levels of escorts, strippers, webcam models, etc. Being aware of this and continuing to consume porn is to consciously and voluntarily support sex trafficking. 00:22:45 Porn Addiction ResourcesThere are several tools that can be pretty useful when it comes to coping with porn addiction. These include watching documentaries (such as “Fight the new drug” and “After porn ends”), reading books (some good ones are “Your Brain on Porn” and “The Porn Trap”), or joining an online community (there’s one on Reddit called “Anti-Pornography”). 00:26:12 The Porn Comfort Zone: Porn can be a sticky trap for single men, given that it provides sort of a comfort zone. Our brain is basically designed to keep us away from pain – such as the kind that can be experienced after being rejected – and it’s also wired to save energy whenever possible. 00:36:56 Porn as a Sex Educator: For many men, porn has served as a sex educator. The main issue with this is that most porn content is targeted at a male audience, in which women are always supposed to please men and male pleasure is the most important thing. 00:45:25 Porn as a way of cheating! Some men will watch random porn, just going through any given website and clicking on a haphazard video that calls their attention at that particular moment. However, other men will develop a so-called “parasocial” relationship with one or more pornstars, becoming faithful followers and keeping themselves updated on any news on their end. 01:09:47 Positives of Porn Addiction Even though addiction cannot be tagged as something positive, it can though bring about some positive consequences along the way, such as developing some strong unconditional love and compassion towards yourself as well as learning to forgive yourself. It’s not healthy to beat yourself up about mistakes that you’ve made or the person you were in the past. 01:15:03 Socially Accepted AddictionsSocially accepted addictions such as those related to porn or food are most of the time more difficult to deal with, given that there’s not much stigma around them and they happen to be readily available.
Mental Health & Psychedelic Therapies – Paul Marlow – MensGroup Podcast #8
23-05-2022
Mental Health & Psychedelic Therapies – Paul Marlow – MensGroup Podcast #8
In this episode, Paul Marlow and Sean Galla from MensGroup get into how to deal with anxiety and depression. We also get into the benefits of a morning routine and everything about MDMA Therapy.Today’s guest Paul Marlow is the founder of “Never Alone”, a mental health brand created for people struggling with depression, anxiety, loathing, and self-doubt. NA’s mission is to help and inspire them to find their day-to-day routines to start their journey back to a healthy mindset and life.CHAPTERS:00:02:11 CHAPTER I –  Mental Health00:04:09 Depression & Anxiety  The very first thing to do when dealing with mental health issues such as anxiety or depression is to acknowledge them and accept their existence. Unfortunately, most men are used to building inner walls to keep them away from feeling these uncomfortable emotions. Given that this tends to be an unconscious process, it can actually take quite a while for some people to realize that they’re carrying around some substantial amount of depression and/or anxiety.       00:14:00 Dealing with LossGrief includes acknowledging your feelings and emotions and letting them come out into the world. Most of us actually don’t know how to grieve when dealing with a loss because we’ve never been taught how to do so from an emotional point of view. 00:17:43 Getting into Emotions Accepting and expressing our emotions can be a hard thing to do at first because it might make us feel vulnerable. However, it becomes quite easier with practice, and it certainly helps to also demonstrate our feelings in a non-verbal way.Even though letting out our emotions can come up as a tough thing to do, it’s definitely the best way to go in the long run. Keeping your uncomfortable feelings all bottled up can have a huge negative impact on both our mental and physical health. 00:26:11 Tools for Self-Growth Aside from the mourning routine activities that were previously mentioned, there are some other things you can look into when working towards achieving a better version of yourself, such as expressing gratitude and sticking to a healthy diet. 00:30:22 CHAPTER II – Psychedelic Therapies00:36:57 MDMA TherapyIf you’re thinking of trying MDMA or any other psychedelic therapy, it’s essential that you get in touch with the right guide. Alternative therapists can be hard to find though, given that their activity is currently illegal. However, doing this stuff led by inexperienced people or worst even all by yourself is strongly inadvisable.  MDMA can help you open up and tap into subjects you’re usually too uncomfortable to talk about because it provides an overall safety sensation in which you’re not judging yourself and you’re then not afraid of being vulnerable. Most psychedelic therapists will advise that it’s not wise to jump into any of these alternative therapies expecting something in particular. That can actually make you resist the journey and where it wants to take you, and potentially end up having a bad trip. As usual, it’s better to allow things to just happen. Psychedelic therapies may not solve your problems, but they may certainly help you crack them open and understand different parts of them from unexplored perspectives.
Thinking Through Adversity – Ben Ahrens – MensGroup Podcast #7
10-05-2022
Thinking Through Adversity – Ben Ahrens – MensGroup Podcast #7
In this episode, Ben Ahrens and Sean Galla from MensGroup get into how thoughts and feelings contribute to our mental and physical health. We also get into the power of perspective and how to cope with adversity. Today’s guest Ben Ahrens is a chronic illness recovery expert, TEDx Speaker, Neuroplasticity coach, and Co-founder of re-origin, and he’s here to talk about emotional management, the importance of perspective, and dealing with adversity. CHAPTERS:00:07:06 CHAPTER I – Emotional Management00:07:15 Mental & Physical Health Most people can probably identify with the feeling of mental weight or burden, feeling overwhelmed when it comes to dealing with their own personal issues. Even though this sensation takes place in the mind’s realm, it actually translates into physiological changes such as muscle tension, heavy breathing, or rapid heartbeat.    00:11:46 Feelings & Thoughts Management In and of themselves, thoughts are neutral – they are just what the mind does, the same way that the ears hear, the eyes see and the nose smell and the mind thinks. On that note, it’s key to understand that we don’t need to be that aware of our thoughts at all times since they’re not always telling us something useful. 00:17:31 Tools for Emotional ManagementScientific research has proven that our brain is widely plastic, meaning that it has an amazing capacity to change, regardless of our age and our learned patterns. This means that we can mentally train ourselves to manage our feelings and emotions in a way that works to our advantage rather than the other way around.  00:26:39 CHAPTER II – Perspective00:26:55 Switching the Negative BiasThe human brain takes roughly about eleven million bits of information per second, from which around nine million are inherently negative. This is due to our brain’s evolved negativity bias, which is designed to keep us out of danger. However, being aware of this grants us the possibility to re-train our brain, and switch that negativity bias into some sort of positivity bias. 00:40:16 Positive and Negative EventsEvery situation we go through has a positive and a negative component to it. However, some events will definitely be more positive than negative and the other way around. In that sense, life’s like a pendulum that constantly sways from one side to the other. Nonetheless, if we acknowledge that there’s good and bad in all, we can consciously choose to focus on the positive portion of things, which would be like climbing up that pendulum – the higher we go, the less we’re gonna feel its swaying. 00:50:13 CHAPTER III – Adversity00:50:51 Advice on Adversity One good piece of advice that can come in handy when to dealing with unpleasant situations is to think about the future and how much the current context could have a long-lasting impact on our life. For example, if you’re in your thirties, you could ask yourself something like “what advice would the 40 years version of myself give me in these particular times?” Usually, the hypothetical answer to that question is something similar to “Take it easy and don’t worry too much about it”.  00:55:58 Dealing with Adversity Adversity itself isn’t the problem, but our resistance to adversity and our inability to stay pleasant in the present can have a negative impact on our life. Ultimately, accepting things the way they are while trying to make the best out of each day appears to be the best recipe for happiness and overall wellbeing.
Self-Assurance & Self-Confidence – Jeremy Amyotte – MensGroup Podcast #6
14-04-2022
Self-Assurance & Self-Confidence – Jeremy Amyotte – MensGroup Podcast #6
In this episode, Jeremy Amyotte and Sean Galla from MensGroup get into how to build self-assurance and self-confidence. We also get into why is so important to set our core values straight, take ownership and be vulnerable. Today’s guest Jeremy Amyotte is the leader of one of the highest-producing real estate sales teams in his territory and author of the book “Self-Assurance”, and he’s here to talk about self-confidence, accepting responsibility, and identifying inner values. CHAPTERS:00:07:01 SINGLE CHAPTER – Self-Assurance & Self-Confidence00:11:20 Coping with Funky TimesPushing ourselves to do those things that take us out of our comfort zone is a great way to build confidence, as we’ll start to accomplish things that we didn’t believe we could do in the first place. 00:18:27 Human Hierarchy & Self-ConfidenceEvery now and then we may find ourselves putting people above or below us, following some sort of human hierarchy. This phenomenon is pretty usual and can take place even among our loved ones, such as close friends and family. 00:26:16 Being VulnerableMost of the time, building confidence is not about talking nicely to ourselves but actually about digging deep inside and dealing with any negative feelings that may be holding us back and rooting our limiting beliefs. To do this though, we have to be willing to be vulnerable. 00:29:42 Acceptance & OwnershipThe first step towards self-confidence is acceptance - we can’t change anything that we haven’t accepted first. However, acknowledging our flaws and our weak spots can be hard from an emotional perspective. What’s more, there’s a strong tendency in society that pushes us to distract and numb ourselves, rather than getting in touch with our feelings.  00:35:04 Self-Assurance & Self-ConfidenceSelf-confidence is compartmental and mainly related to specific fields. For example, somebody can be a pretty confident athlete and at the same time lack confidence when it comes to public speaking. On the other hand, self-assurance involves all of those areas in which we feel confident, whilst accepting all of the others in which we don’t, also acknowledging and trusting our inner resources to get better and improve in whichever area we’d be interested in making some real progress. 00:51:32 Self-Assurance & Core ValuesArticulating our core values is crucial when it comes to building self-assurance. Values are like a compass that can guide us in the right direction, helping us make the best decisions along the way. 00:59:21 Self-Confidence ToolsThere are some practical tools that can really help boost our self-confidence, such as reading relevant books and journaling on a steady basis. Also, surrounding ourselves with people that share our core values and then encourage us to remain on the right path is key to achieving self-growth. If possible, having some trusted mentors to guide us throughout our life journey can certainly be a priceless asset. 01:01:39 Taking Responsibility We can’t always have control over whatever happens to us, but we can definitely have a say on how we’re gonna react to that. As Jack Canfield has stated: E + R = O, meaning that events plus response equal outcome, making it clear that the way we respond we’ll be at least half of the equation. In addition, it’s also important to avoid tying ourselves to any potential result but just focused on our actions instead, given that they’re the only part of the equation we have any influence on.
Divorce & Marital Agreements – Ryan Kalamaya – MensGroup Podcast #5
29-03-2022
Divorce & Marital Agreements – Ryan Kalamaya – MensGroup Podcast #5
In this episode, Ryan Kalamaya and Sean Galla from MensGroup get into how to deal with a divorce from an emotional and a legal side. We also get into when to reach out to a divorce attorney and the differences between a pre-marital and a marital agreement. Today’s guest Ryan Kalamaya is a divorce lawyer and co-host of Divorce at Altitude: A Podcast on Colorado Family Law, and he’s here to talk about divorce, prenup, and marital agreements.CHAPTERS:00:01:53 CHAPTER I – The Emotional Side of Divorce00:02:06 Avoiding Divorce Whilst there’s no recipe that can guarantee you’ll not be going through such a tough thing as a divorce, there are some valuable things that you can put into practice that will definitely enrich your loving relationship and minimize the odds of navigating through a difficult break-up.00:05:07 Coping With DivorceTaking up physical challenges can be a very helpful tool when facing a difficult divorce. 00:07:33 BitternessMany guys that go through a divorce experience usually share a deep feeling of bitterness. The fact is that divorce is a complex process that involves several stages, being grief one of them. So actually, being bitter at this point is not an issue itself but a normal feeling to experience. 00:13:29 Common Mistakes Around Divorce Some common mistakes that guys make when facing a divorce are financially related. One can be draining their bank account and trying to empower themselves by controlling their wives from a financial side. 00:18:16 When to Seek a Divorce Attorney Whilst this may vary from case to case, there’s actually no downside to reaching out to a professional counselor that can help you figure out where are you standing from a legal point of view. It’s also worth adding that this is better to be done sooner than later, given that divorces can be tough to process from both a legal and an emotional perspective.  00:24:58 Child CustodyWhen fighting over custody of your kids, it’s crucial that you’re present. Failing to show up or coming drunk to legal disputes will surely lean the scale towards the opposite side. 00:26:56 CHAPTER II – The Legal Side of Divorce00:29:22 Prenup and Marital AgreementsA prenup is essentially a written agreement in which you and your spouse agree ahead of time on specific things such as property division, the amount of spousal support in potential attorney’s fees, etc. However, kid-related issues including child support and custody are not a part of these legal contracts. 00:35:30 Attacking a Pre-Marital AgreementOccasionally when going through a divorce, one of the spouses will file a dispute against the pre-marital agreement, mostly due to the fact that, from their point of view, the terms agreed on in that legal contract may leave them on the weaker side of the equation when facing a potential break-up. Most of the time, this action is taken by the downward spouse, who will be more financially affected by the separation. 00:46:17 History of Prenup AgreementsEven though prenup may appear to be a pretty modern concept, the first pre-marital agreements documented are from Ancient Egypt around 3,000 years ago! Current stats show that millennials are more open to prenup than older generations were. This is mainly because they see this legal agreement as a way to prevent potential conflicts in the event of a potential break-up. Also, younger generations tend to get married later in life, so they usually have more patrimony to protect.
Happiness, Self-Actualization & Relationships—Brian Dubow—MensGroup Podcast #4
20-03-2022
Happiness, Self-Actualization & Relationships—Brian Dubow—MensGroup Podcast #4
In this episode, Brian Dubow and Sean Galla from MensGroup get into how to understand and achieve happiness. We also get into the benefits of self-actualization and why are relationships so important for men. Today’s guest Brian Dubow is a happiness coach, blogger, and founder of Hit of Happiness ( and he’s here to talk about long-term wellbeing, personal growth, and the value of building meaningful relationships. CHAPTERS:00:02:46 A Deep Dive into Happiness  Everyone is looking for happiness, it’s everybody’s endgame, and actually, everything we do, from having a job, getting into a specific relationship, taking in certain activities, and most of our life decisions are driven by our inner seek for happiness.00:11:33 SPHIRE FrameworkSPHIRE is a five-dimensional framework that can be a powerful tool to help us spot those goals we can benefit from working towards. SPHIRE is an acronym in which each letter stands for something concrete. 00:31:59 Happiness vs. PleasureNowadays, people tend to run away from challenging situations and lean towards instant gratification instead, but the reality is that we are actually happier when we’re growing, and this growth can only be nurtured by going through challenging experiences. We naturally avoid difficult contexts since we don’t want to feel uncomfortable.     00:43:14 CHAPTER II – Self-Actualization Self-Actualization can be defined as the journey towards becoming all we’re meant to be. We all have our own purpose in this world, and in order to figure out what that is, it’s important to ask ourselves some big questions such as why am I here, what’s my superpower, and how can I add to this world? 00:56:06 Coping with Divorce & Break-UpWhen dealing with a nasty break-up or divorce, we can get to feel quite bitter. On that note, the first thing to be aware of is that bitterness is an emotion that doesn’t do a lot for us. Actually, by feeling bitter at someone else, we’re letting that person win and have control over us, even though we’re passed being in a relationship with them.    00:59:04 The value of relationshipsIt’s a proven fact that relationships are the number one predictor of happiness in our lives. Feeling that we’re a part of a community in which we can be authentic and expose ourselves emotionally is key to our personal development. On that same note, having a significant other who we can trust almost anything adds a ton of ease and value to our life. The purpose of a relationship is not to complete each other but to help each other grow – often times other people can help us bring out the best in us and learn things about ourselves that we couldn’t have done on our own.  A big part of happiness is about giving to others and being aware that it is not all about us. In fact, the more we do for others, the more we do for ourselves. On that matter, when we are in a relationship and we’re willing to do anything at our reach to make our companion happy, that takes us out of our own headspace and makes our personal existence more fulfilling. We, humans, are tribal creatures, and as so we’re meant to help each other out and have a specific role in society. Unfortunately, in the last hundred years, mankind has developed a more competitive feature, as each individual is more concerned about their own success than about pursuing the common good.
Taking Ownership: Communication & Feedback – Lachie Stuart – MensGroup Podcast #3
12-03-2022
Taking Ownership: Communication & Feedback – Lachie Stuart – MensGroup Podcast #3
In this episode, Lachie Stuart and Sean Galla from Mensgroup get into the importance of community and healthy communication for men. We also get into taking feedback and ownership of thoughts, feelings, and actions and how to recover from a breakup.Today’s guest Lachie Stuart is a men coach who helps career-driven men to live, love, and laugh more, and he’s here to talk about the importance of community, accepting feedback, and coping with difficult situations such as a breakup, divorce, and infidelity.  CHAPTERS:00:01:16 Community & Communication00:01:16 The Importance of Community  Getting together with people that share your same core values will help you stick to them and encourage you to keep doing the things that align with those values. People in your community will hold you accountable for maintaining the habits that resonate with the kind of life you want to live, and at the same time, will point out whenever you’re drifting away from your path. The concept of community comes down to surrounding yourself with people that will help you grow into the person you want to become. Keeping positive people close is key – research has proven that negative influence in your life can be even 6 times more impactful than positive influence.00:13:40 Good communicationHow you articulate what you’re feeling and what you’re experiencing is crucial – If you’re able to put into actual words what you’re going through, it will make it easier for you to deal with that specific issue or situation.   Learning to communicate in a good way will definitely have a positive impact on your relationships, from friends and co-workers to your family and closest beings. 00:18:00 Learning to cherish feedbackFeedback can highlight those areas in which you can eventually improve, and help you accept how you are doing on those in the meantime. Sometimes people who are not used to receiving feedback can get pretty defensive about it since it can be taken as a piece of evidence that they’re not perfect. 00:35:50 Taking ownership of your thoughts, feelings, and actionsMost men struggle when it comes to taking responsibility for themselves, and have a strong tendency to blame others for their own issues. These men are in fact passive about their lives and are just expecting things to change on their own. Even though it’s worth it, it’s actually harder to take ownership, given that this may imply dealing with limiting beliefs and carefully reviewing how you talk to yourself. Unfortunately, due to how demanding this process can get, most men end up accepting mediocracy, choosing to remain in their comfort zone. 00:47:25 How to recover from infidelity, divorce, or breakupWhen dealing with a tough breakup, it’s important to accept the situation as challenging and allow yourself to mourn and to feel sad.  After infidelity or a difficult divorce, it’s tempting to want to take revenge. In a situation like this, just ask yourself – how do I want to respond? Does that response align with the kind of person I want to be? Having good support around yourself and talking with other guys that have been through similar experiences can be a powerful tool throughout difficult times like these.  It’s essential to give yourself some time to go through the situation in a healthy way, rather than trying to deny it or trying to avoid dealing with painful feelings.
Breakup, Divorce & Infidelity Recovery - Dr. Walter Matweychuk - MensGroup Podcast #2
17-12-2021
Breakup, Divorce & Infidelity Recovery - Dr. Walter Matweychuk - MensGroup Podcast #2
How to recover from a divorce, breakup, or infidelity. How to think about adversity. Why stoic philosophy is so useful for men, especially through a breakup or divorce? Today's guest, Dr. Walter Matweychuck is a clinical psychologist that helps men through a wide range of issues like recovering from a breakup, divorce, separation, or infidelity.You can watch the video interview on the Men's Group Youtube. And if you want to be in more of these kinds of conversations, you can get access to our free men's groups and discussion community over at   You can find more on Dr. Matweychuk and REBT therapy here:  Healthy Recovery - Involves the acknowledgment that you cannot change the other person nor what happens to you, but that you can change yourself and choose how to react to a specific situation.00:11:00 Healthy & Unhealthy Emotions- They both share the same cognitive component: the acknowledgment that reality isn’t the way they want it to be. - Unhealthy behavior involves elements of self-defeat whilst healthy behavior leans towards acceptance.00:16:28 The ABC model- A being "reality", B being how you process reality, and C being how you feel about the way you process reality. Many people ignore B, thinking that there’s nothing they can do between whatever happens to them (A) and how they feel about it (C).  00:19:15 Eight Healthy Negative Emotions vs. Eight Unhealthy Negative Emotions - Concern rather than Anxiety - Sorrow rather than Hurt.- Sadness rather than Depression. - Remorse rather than Guilt. - Disappointment rather than Shame. - Healthy Jealousy rather than Unhealthy Jealousy. - Healthy Envy rather than Unhealthy Envy. - Healthy Anger rather than Unhealthy Anger. 00:35:32 Women Hating Communities - Redpill, Incel, MGTOW- Men who put themselves down after an emotional breakup feel the need to put others down in order to gain back some of their lost self-esteem. - Holding to that negative emotion leads to a negative biased perception of reality, which is encouraged by being part of an unhealthy community. It’s important to acknowledge your share of the responsibility and the fact that being involved in an emotional relationship involves the risk of being hurt. 00:42:32 Acceptance - Acceptance can be defined as the acknowledgment that a negative state of affairs exists, but that you’re in peace with that. - It also involves the acceptance that whatever happened was due to the fact that all the related conditions were in place, regardless of whether you understand them or not.- It may involve some unpleasant but positive emotions such as disappointment, sadness, and healthy anger.- It can lead to either repairing the current relationship with a healthy negative emotion or moving on to a new relationship with more wisdom derived from the hurtful experience. - Self-acceptance involves living life to enjoy yourself rather than proving yourself. 00:53:40 Healthy Escapes vs. Unhealthy Escapes- The worst thing to do: give in to self-rejection and downing yourself. Also, using alcohol or drugs.00:59:22 Stoic PhilosophyPhilosophy helps you live a meaningful life and cope with adversity by embracing reason. “You cannot be a victim of another, you can only be a victim of yourself.”   Rumi: “The cure for the pain is the pain” – if it’s uncomfortable, it’s likely to be ther