Fairy Tale Fix

Join us this week as Abbie cold reads a couple of obscure Brothers Grimm fairy tales, including The Castle of Murder and The Carpenter & The Turner. Kelsey cold reads a tale that a listener sent specifically for Kelsey to read to Abbie. Can you guess where this is going? That's right – this tale is called The Cat and…erm… Rooster.

This week we finally learn the term “cold reading” thanks to our amazing Faerie Overlord and good friend, Giselle! Kelsey reads from a book discovered in her Little Free Library, posing the timeless question: Why Mosquitoes Buzz in People’s Ears. Meanwhile, Abbie treats us to a cold reading of a tale from our favorite storyteller, Ruth Manning-Sanders, featuring The Princess in the Iron Tower.

This week we're joined by our longtime friend Caroline Donham! Caroline tells us her Red Riding Hood fix that she rewrote when she was little, and it's just as cute as you'd imagine. Then she tells us some effed up nursery rhymes, and Abbie reads an even more effed up Brother's Grimm tale, The Heavenly Wedding.

We’re into some 100% real faerie stuff for Irish Fairy Tale Month with Abbie tackling the Harp of Dagda and attempting to coherently describe the Tuatha De Danann. Then Kelsey brings it home with a story that left our jaws on the FLOOR MULTIPLE TIMES: Hudden, Dudden, and Donal O’Leary.

For our first episode of Irish fairy tale month, we’re joined by some incredibly special guests… Katrina and Geoff from The Fairy Tellers podcast! Strap in for this super-sized and hilarious episode where Geoff puts the fear of God into us with The Doom, and then Katrina takes us for a wild ride that literally none of us could have ever predicted with The Legend of Ballytowtas Castle, both by the illustrious Lady Jane Wilde.

This one is for the #VillainSympathizers out there so…us basically! Kelsey retells the African American folktale Lonna And Cat Woman (we’ll let you guess who we’re rooting for here), and Abbie relates the story of Greek Cinderella - the most unreliable narrator of all time.

We're back with another of Abbie & Kelsey’s favorites – it's random reading time! Abbie continues our journey into the Ivanverse with the worst Ivan yet in What Happened To Ivan by Ruth Manning-Sanders, and Kelsey reads a fun dog-saves-the-day story with RMS's Niassa and the Ogre.

Kelsey and Abbie finish part two of The Snow Queen, Hans Christian Andersen’s timeless tale of friendship, childhood innocence, the darkness of the human heart, epic quests, strange side drama, and the enduring power of love. There’s just one problem; where the heck is the Snow Queen!?

We just can’t get enough of Hans Christian Andersen on this show and it’s freaking COLD out there anyway, so bundle up in your finest faux fur blankets, clutch a mug of something warm, and harken to this winter tale. That’s right, Abbie and Kelsey are finally tackling The Snow Queen.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year: Sad Victorian Bisexual Boy Christmas! Kelsey and Abbie regale each other with the traditional Hans Christian Andersen double feature with Kelsey reading The Red Shoes, and Abbie reading the Beetle. CW: These stories come with strong undertones of religious trauma and narcissistic behavior, but would it even be Christmas without them?

It’s all about who you know and how much money you have (just like real life) in today’s episode! Abbie tells the Russian folk tale of The Smith and the Demon, where you really only need $200 or so handy to become young again, and Kelsey follows up with the Icelandic Christmas monster the Yule Cat - who traditionally noms on...well you’ll see.

We examine the Pied Piper of Hamelin from every possible angle! Kelsey reads us the original Brother’s Grimm tale, a more recent poem based on it, and theories about the real life events that inspired it. Abbie follows up with the PC version from Politically Correct Bedtime Stories by James Finn Garner, and capstones it all off with the PC version of Red Riding Hood. Garner really posed the ultimate fix there, whether he meant to or not.

Abbie continues our dive into Little Red Riding Hood by reading the Algerian version called Rova. You won't find this tale in English anywhere else (probably)! Kelsey says goodbye to spooky Halloween with the Russian tale The Dead Mother and takes a sharp turn into a happily ever after with Ruth Manning-Sanders’ Andromeda Dances (without her insignificant slippers).

If you gave Red Riding Hood a nickel every time a wolf tried to eat her, she’d have two nickels. Not a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice right? Kelsey finally gets to tell her favorite childhood fairy tale, and surprises Abbie with the sequel she never knew existed! After that, Abbie tells the Taiwanese folktale of Aunt Tiger - a badass immortal witch who comes with sweets and an appetite for children.

Join us for a chilling episode as we're joined by visual storyteller and brilliant artist Chadwick Heiberg for spooky season! Chadwick unveils his original fairy tale, The Three Witches, following young sisters fleeing from their Salem home–a New England classic not for the faint-hearted. Kelsey shares two dark and twisted robber bridegroom tales; Greenbeard from Lithuania, and The Cannibal Innkeeper from Romania. Get ready ‘cause this one’s a doozy.

Damsels are slightly distressed in this episode, but they freaking HANDLE it. First Abbie tells the Punjabi tale of Bopoluchi, a fierce and proud young woman with nerves of steel and a license to kill (that she gave herself). Next, Kelsey recounts the German story of the Maiden With No Hands, whose superpower is a good head on her shoulders and great boundaries.

Damsels are slightly distressed in this episode, but they freaking HANDLE it. First Abbie tells the Punjabi tale of Bopoluchi, a fierce and proud young woman with nerves of steel and a license to kill (that she gave herself). Next, Kelsey recounts the German story of the Maiden With No Hands, whose superpower is a good head on her shoulders and great boundaries.

The Fixtresses are joined this episode by Cullen and Hannah from Not My Fantasy Podcast! Settle in for two Irish Fairy Tales about - you guessed it - evil landlords, fairy trickery, and the town drunk with the round butt getting up to no good.

Your chances of being killed by a pony are small, but never 0, as the protagonists of the French story The Goblin Pony discover in Abbie’s tale this episode. Kelsey follows up with the Swiss tale of Pussycat Twinkle, his badass wife Snowflake, and a self absorbed serial killer wizard.

#SwampWitchSummer is officially over and we’re back to give you some extremely WTF fairy tales! Kelsey fulfills her promise of making everyone uncomfortable with the indigenous Ponca-Otoe tale Teeth In The Wrong Places, and lightens it up a bit with indigenous Flathead folk tale Coyote Kills the Giant. Abbie randomly picks Thumbnickel from The Turnip Princess.