The Imperfect Pod

Thank you everyone so much for supporting me on this journey. This is the last episode of The Imperfect Pod. On it, I share some of my favourite memories, what is coming next, how I'm feeling, what I've learned and why I'm at peace with my decision. I will be back. To find out when I will be back, make sure to follow me on Instagram @lukeblessed (my personal) or on my podcast page @theimperfectpod as I will probably be rebranding that when I start my next thing. This show has changed my life and for that I am forever grateful. And I'm ready for what's next.

What do you do when you come from a family of dysfunction? How do you learn to be a man when your father is a serial cheater, drug dealer, gambler and prisoner? How do you navigate that life? How do break that cycle of poverty to create a life of wealth? These are some of the topics and themes that we discuss on this week's episode. Other key themes of the episode include: His family history and the trauma surrounding it What is was like navigating the impact of his father's life Being a logical person rather than emotional How he responded to being called like his dad Ensuring the choices he made were different than his father's Creating a life of wealth so that his children can have a different life Why judgement of people in pain his wrong His close encounter with divorce Why counselling has been his saving grace What he's done to learn more about emotional wellbeing And much more About Anthony: Anthony Kenneth Spark is a successful Serial Entrepreneur, Money Coach, Philanthropist, Author, and Personal Development Specialist. At 18 years old, with a vision to change his family legacy and positively impact people in need, he was searching for a career . With a clear picture of the life he truly wanted, he began building a company of his own. That company has evolved into several industries and now does 7 figures of revenue involving an organization of over 250 people. We have as of November 2020 helped people pay off $3 million in Debt, earn over $3 million more per year in annual salary and save/invest 1.6 million. He had his first book, Phoenix Manifesto, published in 2018. Updated Audiobook to be released December 2020! Anthony is the cohost of ExtraOrdinary Excellence Podcast with over 21,000 downloads in its first year. He is the visionary and founder of Kickstrings - a social entrepreneurship project which raises funds and awareness for charities. You can connect with Anthony at his number 1-631-327-2241 (It's an iPhone too) or at his email Anthony@phoenixevolution.co. You can read more about his company https://phoenixevolution.co/ (Phoenix Evolution). As always, feel free to follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theimperfectpod/ (@theimperfectpod) or shoot me an email at luke@theimperfectpod.com

How can men heal from their alcoholism? What can they do to get out of their shame and guilt? Why are men more at risk of not getting help for this problem? These are questions that we discuss at length in this episode. Other key themes of the episode include: Where his own alcohol dependency started How DNA and genetics play into the issue of alcoholism Self-sabotage in the recover cycle Why anger and shame are two emotions that are harmful in healing Changing your neural pathways Why Macho culture is hurting men in the long run The difference between a Friday night drunk and a Friday night alcoholic Distinguishing the drinker from the alcoholic Why visualization is a powerful tool in recovery Alcoholism as a disease The power of routine in recovery His own story with family, drugs and alcohol University life and drinking and why it's unhealthy and much much more About Dr. Robb: Robb has overcome homelessness, alcohol dependency, trauma, and a whirlwind of events to be the "Gordon Ramsay" of the addiction treatment world. Before Robb succumbed to addiction and mental health issues, he played bass guitar at Abbey Studio with Queen, David Bowie, and Elton John. He is an accomplished musician, and the money he made helped him attend Oxford University to pursue a Ph.D. in Psychology. Robb's work ethic is defined by helping the addict step out of their disease and into a solution. We work with everyday people, professionals, and celebrities who want to reach sobriety and live in sustained recovery through evidence-based modalities and a genuine therapeutic alliance. https://robbkelly.com/ (Website). Email. As always, feel free to follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theimperfectpod/ (@theimperfectpod) or shoot me an email at luke@theimperfectpod.com

There are many resources out there for expecting women, but what about expecting men? What can they do throughout pregnancy to reflect, grow and serve their family? That’s exactly what we talked about on this episode! Key themes of the episode include: The difficulties of having a child during COVID Picking the hospital you want to have your child at The challenges that pregnancy can cause in relationships and how to treat your partner with respect Navigating your wife’s wants, needs and cravings during the pregnancy Being comfortable with role reversals and humbling yourself to serve How expecting men can navigate their own selves to become more positive and change their mindset Dealing with resentment and relationship hijacking with intentionality Continuing to connect with each other and not focusing on the baby The idea of the registry and why it might take away or threaten your ideas of masculinity The expectation of men to provide and the stress that can cause for men and why we need to broaden the definition of provision Finding valuable mentors and using relationships to become a better father Resources for expecting fathers to learn about their upcoming journey His excitement for being a girl dad The home environment he grew up in and why he desires to be different than his father How his relationship with his father has changed after knowing he was going to become a father Looking 20 years into the future, what does being a successful father look like? The biggest fear Geston has in his daughter’s first year on Earth Is there such a thing as being over-protective? About Geston: "GP" is an emerging leader, and speaker with a decade of combined leadership experience in the non-profit, and entertainment sectors. As a reality television competition champion, and multi-award nominated musician and recording artist, he has mastered the art and science of performing under pressure. He is passionate about helping people and organizations leverage their influence to make a lasting impact. As a pod-junkie, he serves as a podcast start-up consultant, and as a co-host to many podcasts. He ultimately aspires to inspire 1 billion people with his voice before he expires. You can find out more about him through his https://linktr.ee/GPThePodcastPlug (Linktree), by connecting with him on IG @https://www.instagram.com/gpthepodcastplug/?hl=en (gpthepodcastplug), or by connecting with him on https://www.linkedin.com/in/geston-pierre/ (LinkedIn). As always, feel free to follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theimperfectpod/ (@theimperfectpod) or shoot me an email at luke@theimperfectpod.com

Sexual violence in society has gone down 60% in the last several years but there's still more work to be done. Whether that's from more male allyship, discussing it on a wider scale, stopping it when you see it happen or just changing your own behavior, the fact that this reprehensible act is still so prevalent is awful. On this episode, Tim Mousseau and I discuss everything sexual assault. Key themes of the episode include: Finding his identity as a human and man after his sexual assault Why the way we talk about sexual assault in society is wrong Why sexual violence as a crime can be hard for people to understand How changing the way we talk about sexual violence will change our reaction to it Why statistics about sexual assault only get us so far in the conversation Understanding who should be handling sexual assault cases and how the system needs to do better by victims Looking at sensitivity training and why it’s important What laws are emerging that can help direct us to a better understanding of how sexual violence permeates different areas of society What we can do to start engaging in conversations both as bystanders and within our communities Why we need to look at the data and methodology of the research being done on these topics Tying in the #notallmen conversation based on the current situation with Sarah Everard Acknowledging the progress that we’ve made as a society on sexual assault when appropriate Looking at high profile cases and whether they hinder or help the discussion Innocent until proven guilty and the believe all women narratives Best practices to stop sexual violence or harm in real time without putting yourself or them in danger About Tim: Tim Mousseau is a survivor of sexual violence turned educator and advocate on this important topic. At the age of 22, Tim was faced with an incident of sexual assault. On top of this, Tim had to manage the stresses of workplace sexual harassment from his boss who used knowledge of Tim’s trauma to exert toxic control. Coming to terms with his experience, Tim recognized how it left him feeling powerless. He vowed no one else should ever feel the same way. For the last nine years, Tim has spoken with over 400 organizations including members of the United States Congress, top universities, and Fortune 500 companies across the world on the topics of sexual violence and harassment prevention. Tim’s research currently centers on how individuals set and maintain safety boundaries, along with a study on how to better engage men in sexual violence prevention work. Professionally, Tim received a Master’s in Organizational Leadership from Gonzaga and a Bachelor’s in Communication from the University of New Mexico. You can find out more about Tim and his resources on https://www.timmousseau.com/ (his website). As always, feel free to follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theimperfectpod/ (@theimperfectpod) or shoot me an email at luke@theimperfectpod.com

On this episode, Johnson and I talk about the energetic and spirituality of masculinity from the East to the West, masculinity within the LGBTQ+ community and Asian masculinity. Disclaimer: This was recorded before the Atlanta Georgia mass shooting. Some themes might tie in but that was not included in the context. Key themes of the episode: Why there shouldn't be judgement on what is masculine vs feminine How masculine and feminine energies shift from Eastern to Western societies Religious trends of masculinity (dharma and ying and yang vs more rigid definitions) The importance of exploring humanness... not just man and woman What it's like to be a gay man and exploring masculinity The intersectionality of Asian masculinity and LGTBQ masculinity Looking at your childhood to understand your masculinity How Asians take a softer approach to masculinity while the American way is more competitive About Zach: Johnson Chong is the best-selling and award-winning author of Sage Sapien: From Karma to Dharma. He was the founder of Sagehouse in Singapore, a studio for yoga, Pilates, meditation and spiritual workshops and coaching. He is a native New Yorker, and has lived on 3 continents, currently based in Sydney, Australia. He specializes in helping people break free of their mental, emotional and spiritual roadblocks so they can live more aligned to their inner peace and joy versus their fears. Having worked with corporate professionals in various fields, he has a strong interest in working with members of the LGBTQ+ community and other marginalized populations. He has also spoken and led workshops at companies like Unilever, Facebook, Nike, UBS, UOB and various other organizations. Johnson is known as a bridge between ancient wisdom and direct modern application. In his dynamic coaching style, he integrates the practical and most useful parts of yogic wisdom, meditation, somatic movement, energy medicine and shamanic journeying to help his clients breakthrough daily self-criticism and emotional overwhelm. The unique experiences that Johnson curates offer a profoundly healing self-discovery experience, followed by very practical and actionable steps to create the most powerful breakthroughs. As a certified InnerGuidanceTM coach, a Four Winds Energy Medicine Health Coach, and Reiki Master in conjunction with his background as an advanced E-RYT 500 Hr Yoga Teacher Trainer, and PMA Pilates Teacher Trainer, he has an expansive knowledge on the inner workings of human psychology and how it gets trapped in the physical and mental bodies. Johnson is the host of the Truth Wisdom Freedom Conversations podcast on Apple, Google and Spotify where he talks about holistic wellbeing with various conscious leaders in their field, and he also runs transformational retreats at www.exodusretreats.com. You can connect with him on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/johnsonchong_sagesapien/ (@johnsonchong_sagesapien), on https://johnsonchong.com/ (his website), or his https://www.facebook.com/johnsonchongsagesapien?ref=bookmarks (Facebook). As always, feel free to follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theimperfectpod/ (@theimperfectpod) or shoot me an email at luke@theimperfectpod.com

As the host of a masculinity podcast, I feel it is bring more men into the conversation regarding Sarah Everard and male allyship. This is not a problem that will go away unlee we bring more men into the conversation and help them see that it's not #notallmen until it's #nomen. In this episode you will hear: An overview of the Sarah Everard case Public commentary and research on this issue Why this is a problem in all social groups The whistleblower effect Why #notallmen is bullshit but also why I need to empathize with them What continued allyship looks like Here are some resources for you to check out as well: https://canadianwomen.org/ (Canadian Women's Foundation) https://www.unwomen.org/en/what-we-do/ending-violence-against-women/facts-and-figures (UN Women) https://www.thehotline.org/stakeholders/domestic-violence-statistics/ (Notional Domestic Violence Hotline) This will only change once we educate ourselves on the problem and ADMIT that there's a problem. As always, shoot me a message on Instagram @theimperfectpod or email me at Luke@theimperfectpod.com if you want to continue the conversation.

Welcome back to Just the TIP is where I do a short reflection on this past week's episode! On this episode, I give my reflections on my conversation with Zach Smith about a few topics including: Why men are looking to build their legacy and why that fascinates me How depression and anxiety can be linked to progress Why the idea productivity and personal brand might be making us less fulfilled Make sure to check out the full episode from Wednesday for more context and to follow me on Twitter, Instagram and more for daily content! As always, reach out to me on Instagram @theimperfectpod, email me at luke@theimperfectpod.com or join my FB group called https://www.facebook.com/groups/229891395146974 (The Imperfect Group).

On this episode, Zach and I talk about his solo hike trip across the Pacific Crest Trail and his biggest takeaways, as well as the positive influence of Bell Let’s Talk in the mental health community. Key themes of the episode: Why Bell Let's Talk is good for society Why he went on his trip across the Pacific Crest Trail What the feeling was like at the end of his trip How much he missed ice in his drinks Who his inspirations were for the trip (Jesse Itzler and Dave Goggins) The importance of mindset in building your legacy About Zach: At age 23, Zach set out on a solo hike from Mexico to Canada to raise money for youth mental health. The journey took 4 and a half months, and he was able to raise over $10,000 for a charity that specializes in youth mental health and youth peer mentorship. He is a young entrepreneur, scaling a digital content production company and sustainable e-commerce business SickBirdProduction. He has worked at numerous start-ups, and has a business degree in finance. He values personal growth, and challenging oneself to achieve greatness. https://www.instagram.com/zucc_smett/?hl=en (Zach's Instagram). https://www.sickbirdproduction.com/ (Zach's Website). As always, feel free to follow me on Instagram @theimperfectpod or shoot me an email at luke@theimperfectpod.com

Welcome back to Just the TIP is where I do a short reflection on this past week's episode! On this episode, I give my reflections on my conversation with Eldra Jackson about a few topics including: Why there's no such thing as unhealthy emotions just unhealthy choices based on those emotions The importance of giving men safe spaces and permission to feel Why it might not be just mean who make men close themselves off Make sure to check out the full episode from Wednesday for more context and to follow me on Twitter, Instagram and more for daily content! As always, reach out to me on Instagram @theimperfectpod, email me at luke@theimperfectpod.com or join my FB group called https://www.facebook.com/groups/229891395146974 (The Imperfect Group).

Eldra Jackson was serving life in New Folsom prison and in and out of the prison system for almost 30 years. This is his journey of rehabilitation, extreme ownership, self work and intense growth. Key themes of the episode: The desire to be respected and feared in prison How he had an image of strength as a mask to fear The choices and impact that solitary confinement had on his life Why men need permission to feel and explore themselves The importance of rites of passage and rituals The origin story of Inside Circle Releasing negative energy as a source of healing How men can access their deeper truths and why it takes strength What the parole process looks like when getting release from prison What he's doing to ensure he doesn't pass down his trauma to the next generation This was an amazing episode and I'm so thankful to Eldra for speaking with me. Again, I am willing to pay for 10 people to watch the documentary by The Inside Circle called "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iddt4sVZTvIandab_channel=YouTubeMovies (The Work)". You can find it on YouTube, Amazon Prime and I believe a few other options. It only costs $5 to rent but it will provide so much more depth as to the context and importance of the work that Eldra went through and facilitated in prison. Make sure to https://www.instagram.com/inside__circle/ (follow them on Instagram). About Eldra: Eldra is a writer and sought after public speaker on the topics of at-risk youth advocacy, effective criminal justice rehabilitation and turning around ‘toxic’ masculinity, Eldra brings clarity of purpose, mission focus, and inspiration to his role at Inside Circle. He was an inmate at New Folsom Prison when he found Inside Circle and began the inner personal journey that eventually led to his release in 2014 and his current leadership role. A living example of successful rehabilitation and re-entry, Eldra has dedicated his free time on the outside to serving at-risk youth, and acting as a facilitator, trainer, and mentor. As always, feel free to follow me on Instagram @theimperfectpod or shoot me an email at luke@theimperfectpod.com

Welcome back to Just the TIP is where I do a short reflection on this past week's episode! On this episode, I give my reflections on my conversation with Sabrina Osso about a few topics including: Why it's harder for women to leave their abusers than we think How much work it takes to trust men after being abused by a father What the next steps are to solving domestic violence in society Make sure to check out the full episode from Wednesday for more context and to follow me on Twitter, Instagram and more for daily content! As always, reach out to me on Instagram @theimperfectpod, email me at luke@theimperfectpod.com or join my FB group called https://www.facebook.com/groups/229891395146974 (The Imperfect Group).

TW: In this episode we talk about domestic violence and verbal abuse. In this episode, my guest is Sabrina Osso. Sabrina ishttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyAhN_xwCxsandab_channel=TEDxTalks ( Tedx speaker) and the Founder and CEO ofhttps://www.ossosafe.com/ ( OSSO SAFE), a company that consults on promoting safety and preventing violence in the workplace, schools, and in places of residence. Sabrina has long dealt with violence on a personal level. She knows how difficult it is to live in such a chaotic environment. Sabrina and Osso Safe want to make a positive impact in people’s lives, whether they’ve been directly affected by violence or not. In this episode we discuss her own story, why victims can’t just leave, the impact of porn on this topic, and how those who don’t experience abuse can identify signs and be allies in this work. If you liked the episode, make sure to press subscribe, follow, leave a review and message me on Instagram @theimperfectpod or email me at Luke@theimperfectpod.com and join myhttps://www.facebook.com/groups/229891395146974 ( Facebook group). I always always want to hear from my listeners and continue the conversation!

Welcome back to Just the TIP is where I do a short reflection on this past week's episode! On this episode, I give my reflections on my conversation with Gretchen Shanks and some of the key themes we discussed including those feelings of unattractiveness, lack of worth, rugged independence and the idea of being ready. Make sure to check out the full episode from Wednesday for more context and to follow me on Twitter, Instagram and more for daily content! As always, reach out to me on Instagram @theimperfectpod, email me at luke@theimperfectpod.com or join my FB group called https://www.facebook.com/groups/229891395146974 (The Imperfect Group).

Sex and dating can be hard for young men to navigate. The world tells us we should want a lot of sex, so we buy into it. But we're never really taught to navigate the shame we might have about our experiences or our bodies. We never talk about how we should be attuned to other's needs. Or how we should even get ready for moments like this. On today's episode I speak with sex and dating coach https://gretchenshanks.com/ (Gretchen Shanks) and we discuss our own vulnerabilities about all of these feelings and how we can navigate them with more compassion and grace. You can connect with Gretchen on https://twitter.com/Gretchen_Shanks/ (Twitter), https://www.instagram.com/gretchen.shanks/ (Instagram), and https://www.facebook.com/sexanddatingcoach/ (Facebook) and don't forget to check out that free resource she mentioned https://gretchenshanks.com/sexualhealingoptions/ (here). If you liked the episode, make sure to press subscribe, follow, leave a review and message me on Instagram @theimperfectpod or email me at Luke@theimperfectpod.com and join my https://www.facebook.com/groups/229891395146974 (Facebook group). I always always want to hear from my listeners and continue the conversation!

Welcome back to Just the TIP is where I do a short reflection on this past week's episode! On this episode, I give my reflections on my conversation with Dr. Michael Pariser and the dating world. This was one of the most vulnerable episodes I had ever done where I open up a lot about my "failures" in the dating world and what I might need to change and what needs to stay the same in order to have success. There's always a balance to be had. However, in 2021 I have made the commitment to not be on any dating apps and spend more time on the podcast and myself! Once I'm back in the dating world I will implement all of these skills to make sure that I don't make the same mistakes. Make sure to check out the full episode from Wednesday for more context and to follow me on Twitter, Instagram and more for daily content! As always, reach out to me on Instagram @theimperfectpod, email me at luke@theimperfectpod.com or join my FB group called https://www.facebook.com/groups/229891395146974 (The Imperfect Group).

We've heard the saying before: "Nice guys finish last". Is it true? Not if you look at it through a victim mentality. However, there are ways to improve your relationships through assertiveness, not aggression. Through body language. Through understanding your relationship with your parents. And through understanding the idea of interest, intimacy and commitment. These are all things that we discuss on today's episode! About the Guest: Dr. Michael Pariser is a psychologist, author, and transformation agent. After training with Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy, he started working a lot with men who identify as compliant and people-pleasing. He’s also the author of https://www.amazon.ca/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy-ebook/dp/B08C813MTZ (No More Mr. Nice Guy: The Hero’s Journey). It serves as a guide to the changes that Nice Guys need to make to become the men they’ve always wanted to be. Michael likes to think of it as a road map to healthy, integrated masculinity. If you would like to find out more about today’s guest, you can go to his website, drparisertherapy.com and if you go to the "For Men" section, that's where you can find out more about his workshops. If you liked the episode, make sure to press subscribe, follow, leave a review and message me on Instagram @theimperfectpod or email me at Luke@theimperfectpod.com and join my https://www.facebook.com/groups/229891395146974 (Facebook group). I always always want to hear from my listeners and continue the conversation!

Welcome back to Just the TIP is where I do a short reflection on this past week's episode! On this episode, I give my reflections on Liz's question back to me on how I think the right and left talk about masculinity differently. Make sure to check out the full episode from Wednesday for more context and to follow me on Twitter, Instagram and more for daily content! As always, reach out to me on Instagram @theimperfectpod, email me at luke@theimperfectpod.com or join my FB group called https://www.facebook.com/groups/229891395146974 (The Imperfect Group).

Hello everyone! This episode is really special to me. I've wanted to speak with Liz ever since I read her book "https://www.amazon.com/Love-Men-Toxic-Mindful-Masculinity/dp/1250757207/ref=sr_1_1?crid=37JQ7XIZ8SF1Oanddchild=1andkeywords=liz+plank+for+the+love+of+menandqid=1612314824andsprefix=liz+plakn%2Caps%2C157andsr=8-1#customerReviews (For the Love of Men: From Toxic to a More Mindful Masculinity)" back in the summer of 2020. It's such an empathetic approach to the conversation that I absolutely loved the book and have mentioned it numerous times on the show. Well, with her paperback coming out this week (February 2nd so much sure to go check it out) it was the perfect timing to make it happen! We cover a ton of topics including why she wrote the book, why it's important for men to listen to women on the topic of masculinity, what are Men's Rights groups, what it was like to talk about masculinity in the Trump era, emotional intelligence and much more. Please please please go check out her book. I will also be doing a giveaway of some of her books on Instagram once they get here so much sure to follow me there @theimperfectpod. If you liked the episode, make sure to press subscribe, follow, leave a review and message me on Instagram @theimperfectpod or email me at Luke@theimperfectpod.com and join my https://www.facebook.com/groups/229891395146974 (Facebook group). I always always want to hear from my listeners and continue the conversation! More about Liz: Liz is an award-winning journalist, author and the executive producer and host of several critically acclaimed digital series at Vox Media and NBC News. She’s the CEO of Liz Plank Productions and is a columnist for MSNBC and has been listed as one of Forbes’ 30 Under 30, Mediaite’s Most Influential in News Media, and Marie Claire’s Most Powerful Women, and was named one of the World’s Most Influential People in Gender Policy by Apolitical. She’s built a loyal following on numerous social media platforms, but her proudest accomplishment by far remains being blocked by the 45th president of the United States. Liz regularly appears on national and international television programs to provide a perspective on politics, gender issues, and reproductive rights, including The Today Show, The Daily Show, MSNBC, CNN, ABC News, Fusion, Al-Jazeera America and BBC World. Through her activism and creative approach to journalism, Liz has made it her mission to elevate the voices of those who are often not heard. Before becoming a journalist, Liz worked as a researcher and behavioral science consultant at the London School of Economics, from which she holds a master's degree in policy with an emphasis in global gender politics. You can follow Liz on https://twitter.com/feministabulous?s=20 (Twitter) and https://www.instagram.com/feministabulous/ (Instagram) @feministabulous, subscribe to her https://linktr.ee/lizplank (Newsletter), watch her on YouTube or check out more of her work on her http://www.elizabethplank.com/ (website)!

Welcome back to Just the TIP is where I do a short reflection on this past week's episode! On this episode, I give my reflections on the challenges off being a single father and why it's important to discuss them. This includes the judicial system, the patriarchy, parenting daughters and more! The link to The Atlantic article I discussed is here: https://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2014/02/the-rise-of-the-single-dad/284016/ (The Rise of the Single Dad) If you're looking for episodes where I talk about fatherhood in specific, check out my episodes with Josh Loong, Clay Smeltzer, Ben Killoy, Alan Stein Jr, Cameron Gordon, Pablo Milandu, Rene Klein-Horseman, and more! It's a very common topic on this podcast. As always, reach out to me on Instagram @theimperfectpod, email me at luke@theimperfectpod.com or join my FB group called https://www.facebook.com/groups/229891395146974 (The Imperfect Group).