How Conflict Norms Produce Faster Meetings and Better Decisions

Conflict already exists every time team members gather for a meeting. The goal is to get all the conflicting opinions and perspectives out on the table and to make a decision that everyone is comfortable committing to. Conflict norms are an incredibly effective way of making sure that happens, and in this episode Jim and Margot will share 5 specific conflict norms to consider implementing on your team.

Example 1: Real-Time Permission

§  A team member interrupts discussion in real time to point out positive behaviour and reinforce it for the whole group.

§  Helps reinforce what is and is not helpful/acceptable as difficult topics are discussed.

Example 2: Removing the Back Door

§  Once a decision has been made, it’s not acceptable to approach the leader later and present more information in order for the decision to be re-evaluated.

§  Helps reinforce that people need to come to meetings prepared and speak up while the discussion is happening so time can be used effectively.

Example 3: Silence Equals Disagreement

§  Assume that if people haven’t voiced their opinion, it’s not because they just agree with what’s being said—assume that they disagree and ask them to weigh in.

§  Helps reinforce that everyone needs to weigh in and keeps decisions from being made without everyone’s commitment.

Example 4: Roman Council

§  Call out the potential decision to be made, and everyone holds out their hands with a thumbs up (yes, go ahead), a thumbs down (no, I’m not committed to this), or thumbs sideways (I need to understand more before I can decide).

§  Gives opportunity for a quick visual gauge on the level of commitment to a direction, and can save meeting time.

Example 5: Fist-to-Five

§  Call out the potential decision to be made, everyone holds out their fists, and the leader counts, “One, two, SHOW”. Each team member displays: all five fingers (totally committed, go ahead), four fingers (okay to go ahead), three fingers (not in DISagreement, go ahead), and two fingers or one finger or a fist means there is not agreement and discussion needs to continue.

§  Gives more nuance than a simple “yes, no, maybe”; if everyone has 3s, 4s, or 5s, you might save meeting time because actually everyone is prepared to move forward on the decision.

Other conflict norms to consider:

§  What level/kind of emotional display is helpful and accepted in our discussions?

§  How should strong language be (or not be) used in our discussions?

§  When should a conversation include the whole team versus happen between only certain team members?

§  What body language/behaviour is NOT acceptable in our meetings during heated discussion?

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Let us know if you have follow-up questions about this episode or other leadership team and organizational health topics! We will plan them into future episodes.

Listen at:
Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2vwAY59
Spotify - spoti.fi/36xgtlp
Stitcher - bit.ly/2O6DCVo

Connect with the hosts:
Jim Brown’s LinkedIn - http://bit.ly/2Fqs9LU
Margot Thompson’s LinkedIn - http://bit.ly/2FvFJh2

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