181. Becoming moms who take care of themselves (steps to learn how to meet your own needs)

Simple on Purpose | Intentional Living and Parenting

04-04-2023 • 22 mins

From becoming aware, to validation, to giving ourselves permission to disrupt the system - we have some steps that can help us in our process of Becoming Someone Who Takes Care of Themselves. I want to share with you how decluttering led me to assess how I was taking care of myself, and how I worked from my basic needs, in small steps to more personal needs.  Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and take action I may be compensated at no additional cost to you. In this episode I talk more about: Our basic needs The wheel of self care Self-care of ourselves vs caring for others The cultural rules of self-care for moms Owning our own narrative of motherhood  The process of becoming someone who takes care of themselves: awareness, validation, permission, approach All or nothing thinking   Links you might like  174. Christmas hygge ideas + understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood First episode in the series 179. What are your needs and how are you meeting them? Second episode in the series 180. Self-care and self-love, what would our mothers say? The Joy of Less by Francine Jay  Small things matter 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) When Motherhood Can Change You but You Can’t Change Motherhood When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate Self care assessment  Enneagram Enneagram 101 (what is it and what are the nine types) 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you? 113. Why you aren’t thriving in motherhood (stress and surviving) Sign up for Simple Saturdays Email  Talk to me on Instagram    The Wheel of Self Care, by Olga Phoenix   Full Transcript (unedited) 0:09 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simpleonpurpose.ca. Welcome the simple on purpose podcast, we are continuing our series about meeting our needs in today I want to talk about becoming someone who takes care of themselves. In the last episode, I talked about how we can shift our approach to the things we call self love and self care. And when we are proactive with self care, then we can become better at creating and maintaining capacity, capacity for our lives and capacity matters. Capacity, having capacity, it helps us feel like we're just able to handle our day. If you've heard talk about the window of tolerance, I think that's a good example of capacity. When we are in our window of tolerance, we feel like we have capacity, I'll make sure to link an episode on that where I've talked about that in the past. So when we are not meeting our needs, we have lowered capacity. Or maybe another way to say this is that meeting our needs increases our capacity. In the very first episode of this series, we talked about our relationship to our needs and how we learn from our upbringing, what's acceptable, what's not, what's a burden, who meets our needs, how do we express them, whose needs Should we meet whose needs are more important, and so on. And then we also are living in this world where we hear a lot about self care and self love. But we've also have some handed down notions from our own mothers and the mothers in our lives. I shared my own story around that in the last episode. And so we're all entering into this conversation with a bit of a different framework on what's comfortable, what's right, what's acceptable when it comes to our needs as a women and moms. I have been asking around what do you consider your basic needs basic needs. And I see a general consensus that our basic needs are what we need to survive, food, sleep, shelter, water. And I'm going to be honest, I know some of us are not very good at three out of four. And I will tell you my very basic list, when I entered into this mindset of becoming someone who takes care of themselves, it did start with food, sleep, water and, and physical space,